IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

Some people focus on national news, while others think it is more important to be aware of international news. Discuss both views and offer your opinion

#people #focus #news #offer
People
 have different views on whether to pay more attention to either domestic or global
news
.
While
 local
news
 helps you remain well-informed about your surroundings, I believe listening to global
news
 helps you remain connected with far-flung corners of the
world
. On the one hand, local
news
 helps you better understand domestic issues, politics, and events pertaining to various cities, towns, and villages. Many national
media
 platforms do a fantastic job of broadcasting diverse traditions and cultures, allowing
people
 from different cultures and backgrounds to get to know each other better.
For instance
,
people
 in London had several misconceptions regarding Muslims who practised fasting on account of the holy month of Ramadan. Many social
media
 influencers and celebrities helped clear up those doubts and confusion.
Furthermore
, local
news
also
 helps raise several human rights violations, societal issues, and political affairs;
this
 helps
people
 to remain well informed and better engaged in the national affairs of the country.
On the other hand
, international
media
 provides a broader perspective on the economy, trade, and politics on a global stage. During the Corona pandemic in 2020, WHO sought international
media
's assistance to help educate
people
 on prevention and causes and consistently update the progress made towards producing the vaccine. Social
media
 promotes various cultures and traditions to the outside
world
.
For instance
, Luke is an international travel vlogger who shares various cuisines, artefacts, and attractions throughout the
world
 using YouTube. In conclusion, I must say that being aware locally is an integral part of life,
However
, being associated with the
world
 is far more important.
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task achievement
The essay effectively discusses both views and presents a clear opinion. However, the conclusion can be more nuanced, summarizing the key points discussed in the body paragraphs to strengthen the overall argument.
coherence cohesion
While the logical structure of the essay is generally clear, using more cohesive devices and making sure each paragraph transitions smoothly can further improve coherence. For instance, transitional phrases like 'Moreover' and 'Additionally' could be used to connect ideas better.
task achievement
The essay provides relevant examples, such as the misunderstanding about Ramadan and the role of WHO during the COVID-19 pandemic, which effectively support the main points discussed.
coherence cohesion
The introduction sets the stage by presenting both perspectives, and the conclusion, although brief, restates the writer's opinion effectively.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • civic participation
  • global perspective
  • economic trends
  • cultural exchanges
  • interconnected world
  • local policies
  • societal issues
  • empathy
  • global markets
  • international relations
  • immediate environment
  • increasingly important
  • context
  • broader perspective
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