Some people think that way to reduce crimes is long term prisons while others think that there are other ways. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Crime reduction is essential for the peace and stability of a society. It has been argued that the best approach to decreasing crimes is

long term

Add a hyphen

long-term

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prisions

Correct your spelling

prisons

while

Linking Words

a large group of people disagree.

This

Linking Words

essay will

unfolds

Change the verb form

unfold

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both sides of the argument and

offers

Correct subject-verb agreement

offer

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my insights into the debate.

Overall

Linking Words

, I do not agree that subjecting criminals to

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expanded period of punishment is an ideal way to punish and forestall crimes. First of all, it is a canonical principle that the punitive actions must be equal to the crimes that have been committed.

Therefore

Linking Words

, it is unfair to impose excessive punishment on the suspects. It has been examples that

disportionate

Correct your spelling

disproportionate

punishments could invite future violations, as the unfair treatment could fuel resentment for the society and undermine its own legitimacy.

Second,

Linking Words

it is clear that

Linking Words

the offenders are sometimes not concerned with the ensuing sentences. The drivers for crime vary

case-by-case

Correct your spelling

case by case

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, and many appear to be spontaneous. In history, it has been multiple repetitive criminals who have previously been through

long term

Add a hyphen

long-term

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sentences. All these examples attest to the fact that prolonging the time in

the

Correct article usage

apply

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jail does not make a significant difference.

However

Linking Words

, I do agree that the duration of stay in the prisons must be

Change preposition

apply

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commensurate with the gravity of the violations.

This

Linking Words

means people must be given sufficient time to redeem their felonies and reflect on the damages they cause to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society.

Submitted by sxueji on Wed Jun 19 2024

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introduction conclusion present

Your essay does a good job of addressing both sides of the argument. However, your conclusion could be more definitive and better tied to the introduction and main points discussed.

logical structure

Improve the flow between paragraphs by using transitional phrases to link ideas more smoothly. This will increase the logical structure of your essay.

relevant specific examples

Add more specific examples to illustrate your points. While you do make valid arguments, specific real-world examples would strengthen your essay's task achievement score.

complete response

Your essay addresses both sides of the argument, which is essential for a balanced discussion.

logical structure

You have a good logical progression in your paragraphs, with clear main points and supporting arguments.

clear comprehensive ideas

The principle that the punishment should fit the crime is well articulated.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

239 words

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Some people think that way to reduce crimes is long term prisons while others think that there are other ways. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

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Some people think although countries with long average working hours are economically successful, this often has some negative social consequences. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people feel that the government should regulate the level of violence in films on television and at the cinema. Others feel that violent films should not be regulated. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Some people believe that only talented children can become successful musicians or athletes. However, others believe that children can be taught to succeed in music or sports. Discuss both views.