some people believe that in a city the best way to travel is by car while other people argue that bicycles are a better way of travelling in a city. discuss both views and give your opinion
Nowadays, travelling has been increasing at an alarming rate. On the one
hand
people argue automobiles can be considered as the preferred method of transportation in urban cities Add a comma
hand,
while
on the other
hand
they think bicycles are more Add a comma
hand,
preferrable
. In my Correct your spelling
preferable
opinion
I firmly believe automobile serves better Add a comma
opinion,
due to
it's
safety and Replace the word
its
convience
.
Correct your spelling
convenience
Firstly
, with the advancement in technology and newly-added features cars provide safety where individuals can travel in a more comfortable and peaceful atmosphere. In addition
to it, due to
its Correct your spelling
convenience
convience
people can choose to travel wherever they want irrespective of bad weather. Add a comma
convience,
For instance
, due to
the harsh weather conditions in some countries
people can travel in cars which makes Add a comma
countries,
there
commute easier.
Contrary to Correct your spelling
their
this
, bicylcles
are useful in terms of physical wellbeing and no pollution. Correct your spelling
bicycles
Furthermore
, engaging in physical activities helps to improve ones
Change noun form
one's
overall
menatl
and emotional Correct your spelling
mental
well being
too. Apart Add a hyphen
well-being
frpm
that, Correct your spelling
from
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
in
Change preposition
on
bikes
brings zero Fix the agreement mistake
bike
emission
of gases. Fix the agreement mistake
emissions
However
, bikes can not be used according to
ones
Change noun form
one's
convience
at all Correct your spelling
convenience
time
as it has limitations when it comes to speed, comfortable and Fix the agreement mistake
times
convience
.
In conclusion, both modes of transportation Correct your spelling
convenience
has
Change the verb form
have
its
own merits and Correct pronoun usage
their
demirits
but I believe cars outweigh Correct your spelling
demerits
its
benefits more in terms of bikes because it not only provides safety to individuals but Correct pronoun usage
their
also
makes
one's life more Correct subject-verb agreement
make
convienent
.Correct your spelling
convenient
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task achievement
The essay would benefit from a clearer thesis statement in the introduction, specifying the points you will discuss.
coherence cohesion
There are a few spelling and grammatical errors (e.g., 'convience' instead of 'convenience'), which should be corrected for better clarity.
task achievement
Include more detailed and diverse examples to support each point. This will help in making the argument more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Ensure there is a smooth flow from one paragraph to another using appropriate transition words.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clearly presented, giving the essay a strong beginning and end.
task achievement
The essay addresses both views on the topic, showing a balanced discussion.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.
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