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Writing Samples /
Band 4

some people believe that in a city the best way to travel is by car while other people argue that bicycles are a better way of travelling in a city. discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #city #travel #car #bicycles
Nowadays, travelling has been increasing at an alarming rate. On the one
hand
Add a comma
hand,
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 people argue automobiles can be considered as the preferred method of transportation in urban cities
while
on the other
hand
Add a comma
hand,
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 they think bicycles are more
preferrable
Correct your spelling
preferable
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. In my
opinion
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opinion,
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 I firmly believe automobile serves better
due to
it's
Replace the word
its
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 safety and
convience
Correct your spelling
convenience
.
Firstly
, with the advancement in technology and newly-added features cars provide safety where individuals can travel in a more comfortable and peaceful atmosphere.
In addition
 to it,
due to
 its
Correct your spelling
convenience
convience
Add a comma
convience,
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 people can choose to travel wherever they want irrespective of bad weather.
For instance
,
due to
 the harsh weather conditions in some
countries
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countries,
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 people can travel in cars which makes
there
Correct your spelling
their
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 commute easier. Contrary to
this
,
bicylcles
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bicycles
 are useful in terms of physical wellbeing and no pollution.
Furthermore
, engaging in physical activities helps to improve
ones
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one's
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overall
menatl
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mental
 and emotional
well being
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well-being
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 too. Apart
frpm
Correct your spelling
from
 that,
traveling
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travelling
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in
Change preposition
on
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bikes
Fix the agreement mistake
bike
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 brings zero
emission
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emissions
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 of gases.
However
, bikes can not be used
according to
ones
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one's
show examples
convience
Correct your spelling
convenience
 at all
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
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 as it has limitations when it comes to speed, comfortable and
convience
Correct your spelling
convenience
. In conclusion, both modes of transportation
has
Change the verb form
have
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its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 own merits and
demirits
Correct your spelling
demerits
 but I believe cars outweigh
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 benefits more in terms of bikes because it not only provides safety to individuals but
also
makes
Correct subject-verb agreement
make
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 one's life more
convienent
Correct your spelling
convenient
.
Submitted by chirayilathirasunny on

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task achievement
The essay would benefit from a clearer thesis statement in the introduction, specifying the points you will discuss.
coherence cohesion
There are a few spelling and grammatical errors (e.g., 'convience' instead of 'convenience'), which should be corrected for better clarity.
task achievement
Include more detailed and diverse examples to support each point. This will help in making the argument more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Ensure there is a smooth flow from one paragraph to another using appropriate transition words.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clearly presented, giving the essay a strong beginning and end.
task achievement
The essay addresses both views on the topic, showing a balanced discussion.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • congestion
  • pollution
  • maintenance
  • eco-friendly
  • infrastructure
  • physical health
  • suitable
  • weather conditions
  • traffic
  • repair costs
  • cycling infrastructure
  • fuel costs
  • carrying heavy loads
  • physical limitations
What to do next:
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