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The graph below compares the number of visits to two new music sites on the web. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

The graph below compares the number of visits to two new music sites on the web. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.
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The line graph compares two new musical websites, namely
Pop
Use synonyms
 Parades and
Music
Use synonyms
Choice
Use synonyms
, in terms of their daily visitors for the first 15 days.
Overall
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 both sites have seen growth in visitor numbers,
Pop
Use synonyms
Parade
Use synonyms
 most of the days had more visitors than
Music
Use synonyms
Choice
Use synonyms
. At the outset of the period,
Pop
Use synonyms
Parade
Use synonyms
 had 120,000 viewers,
while
Linking Words
Music
Use synonyms
Choice
Use synonyms
 had 40,000.
While
Linking Words
 the figure for
Music
Use synonyms
Choice
Use synonyms
 fluctuated between 40,000 and 20,000 visitors for the first week, with
exception
Correct article usage
the exception
show examples
 of
day
Use synonyms
 3, visits to
Pop
Use synonyms
Parade
Use synonyms
 declined to less than 40,000 by the end of the week. From
day
Use synonyms
 7 to 11,
Music
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
choice
Capitalize word
Choice
show examples
 had similar numbers of viewers as the previous week. There was a drastic increase in viewers on the 12th
day
Use synonyms
, which was at 120,000.
This
Linking Words
 figure stayed constant for 2 more days and eventually fell to about 80,000 on the 15th
day
Use synonyms
. During the second half of the period, visits to
Pop
Use synonyms
Parade
Use synonyms
 increased to approximately 165,000, despite falling to 80,000 on
Use synonyms
day
Fix the agreement mistake
days
show examples
 12 and 13.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words pop, music, choice, parade, day with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "compares" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Music sites
  • Web traffic
  • Number of visits
  • Trend analysis
  • Initial phase
  • Steady increase
  • Fluctuations
  • Significant change
  • Peaks
  • Turning point
  • Growth rate
  • Seasonal variation
  • Comparative analysis
  • Long-term trend
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