An increasing trend nowadays is for young adults to play computer games. some people say this is negative development . Discuss and give your opinion.
In
current
generation, all age groups are taking benefits from the technological advancement of Add an article
the current
20th
century. Despite, the countless benefits of these technologies, it is believed to have a negative Correct article usage
the 20th
impact
over
young adults. In Change preposition
on
this
essay, I will discuss both opinions and present my viewpoint in the conlcusion
explaining the negative Correct your spelling
conclusion
impact
of computer
games
using suitable reasons and examples.
There are several factor
Change to a plural noun
factors
due to
which it is believed that computer
games
have negative
Correct article usage
a negative
impact
over
the Change preposition
on
youth
. Firstly
, computer
games
makes
Change the verb form
make
susceptible
to addiction. Correct pronoun usage
them susceptible
as
the Capitalize word
As
youth
spends
more and more time playing Correct subject-verb agreement
spend
games
on computer
, they may be Add an article
the computer
a computer
prompting teenager
to neglect physical and mental health, their academic responsibilities and ability to socially interact with others. Wrong verb form
prompted
Additionally
, recent studies revealed over 65% youth
population in the
society Correct article usage
apply
being
prone to addiction relating virtual Change the form of the verb
is
games
. Moreover
, these virtual games
has
a negative Change the verb form
have
impact
of
Change preposition
on
ones
physical health issues making them vulnerable Change to a genitive case
one's
for
obesity, improper posture and strains.
Change preposition
to
However
, despite all these negative impact
, it is Change the determiner
impacts
also
believed that computer
games
might be supporting personal development after all. Firstly
, computer
games
can enhance cognitive skills such
as problem-solving, stretegic
planning and quick Correct your spelling
strategic
decison-making
, which are transferable and can be beneficial in educational and professional settings. Correct your spelling
decision-making
Secondly
, playing computer
games
can also
be a social activity. Multiplayer games
offers
playing Change the verb form
offer
games
with other
, which often require teamwork and cooperation. Fix the agreement mistake
others
Thirdly
, as
gaming Correct word choice
apply
first
introduced as a source of escapism, benefiting Add a missing verb
was first
individual's
to unwind and relax after a stressful day.
In conclusion, Change noun form
individuals
although
there are many benefits from
playing Change preposition
to
computer
games
. There is no denying the fact, that these are generally effective beneficial
for people who have a Correct word choice
and beneficial
sucessful
career and not for young adults making them vulnerable Correct your spelling
successful
for
addiction, Change preposition
to
leading
them Correct word choice
and leading
into neglecting
their Change preposition
to neglect
responsibilites
. It is necessary Correct your spelling
responsibilities
for
spread awareness and educate students and young adults about the negative effects. Change preposition
to
Also
, an extra step for parents in limiting the
screen use can make a significant positive Correct article usage
apply
impact
over
today's Change preposition
on
youth
.Submitted by nick
on
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grammar
Ensure to correct minor grammatical and typographical errors. For instance, 'stretegic' should be 'strategic' and 'decison' should be 'decision'. These small errors can disrupt the flow of reading.
language usage
Work on improving sentence structure and clarity. For example, 'computer games makes susceptible to addiction' should be 'computer games make individuals susceptible to addiction'.
evidence and examples
Include more relevant and specific examples to support your main points. This will make your arguments stronger and more persuasive.
balanced discussion
The essay covers both the negative and positive impacts of computer games, showing a balanced approach to the topic.
conclusion
The conclusion neatly ties up the argument and provides a clear opinion on the topic, reinforcing the main points discussed in the essay.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example