IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

It is better to buy just a few expensive clothes, rather than lots of cheaper clothes. Do you agree or disagree?

#clothes #lots
Some people prefer to purchase a lot of cheap
clothes
, rather than just some more expensive
ones
. I strongly disagree with
this
 statement mainly
due to
 the wide variety use of different
clothes
.
Purpose
Correct article usage
The purpose
show examples
 of wearing
clothes
 can be a key factor in buying new
clothes
.
This
 means that we need various kinds of
clothes
 for
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
different aims
such
 as office, shopping, gardening, meeting a friend ,and relaxing at home.
Therefore
, buying different
clothes
 for various occasions is inevitable.
In addition
, nowadays,
as a result
 of increasing the cost of living, most people should pay money for different things. Because of
this
, they do not have enough budget to pay more money for expensive
clothes
 on a regular basis.
Due to
 the fact that they prefer to purchase cost-efficient
clothes
 regularly. The group of people claims that expensive
clothes
 are more durable than other
ones
. They insist that some expensive
clothes
 have quality higher than low-cost
ones
 since they are made of the finest fabric and
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
are tailored precisely with the best material.
Therefore
,
this
 leads to buying a few expensive
clothes
 is more efficient than cheaper
ones
.
However
, in my opinion, it is not a valid idea. If each cloth is torn, faded, and stained unintentionally, it will be replaced with a new one. At
last
, we should purchase different
clothes
 regularly. In conclusion, I strongly agree with purchasing various cheap
clothes
 on a regular basis
due to
 using them
at
Change preposition
for
show examples
 different purposes and saving budget.
Submitted by kargar.mh1992 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
It's beneficial to clearly state your position in the introduction or conclusion and then explicitly link each paragraph back to your main argument. This can help in strengthening your coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
Try to provide more detailed examples to support your points. This can help in making your arguments more persuasive and comprehensive.
task achievement
You've provided a clear stance in your essay and addressed different perspectives, which is great for task response.
coherence cohesion
The essay is logically structured with an introduction, body, and conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainability
  • long-lasting
  • cost-per-wear
  • economical
  • investing
  • ethical manufacturing
  • transparent
  • exclusivity
  • designs
  • mass-produced
  • accessibility
  • budget
  • fast fashion
  • trends
  • maintenance
  • dry cleaning
  • social status
  • psychological implications
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!