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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Topic: Some people believe that online education is a convenient and effective alternative to traditional classroom learning, while others argue that it lacks important aspects of face-to-face interaction. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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There is no denying the fact that
education
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 is a significant factor in our lives.
While
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 it is a commonly held belief that online learning is a convenient and effective alternative to traditional
classroom
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 learning, there is
also
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 an argument that it lacks crucial aspects of face-to-face interaction. On the one hand, some individuals consider that online learning is a convenient and effective path
,
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apply
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 because it includes many tools, which help teachers to ensure the students understand subjects.
In other words
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, it can help to collaborate between enjoy learning through games
such
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 as coding games.
In addition
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, online
education
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 offers many benefits
such
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 as you can study anywhere and anytime and easy to access.
For example
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, a survey conducted in Japan shows that 98% of
people
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 prefer online
education
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 rather than traditional
classroom
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 learning.
On the other hand
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, some
people
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 think that traditional
classroom
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 learning is a good approach. It is
also
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 possible to say that traditional program learning allows
people
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 to be active together, which helps them to make relationships.
Moreover
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,
this
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 approach to
education
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 provides many positive aspects
such
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 as helping young
people
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 to become committed, and active with individuals in the same age category and gives the opportunity to develop communication skills.
For instance
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, a study conducted in Saudi Arabia shows that 75% of children develop communication skills through activities with other children in seem age category in schools. In conclusion, there are no easy answers to
this
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 question. On balance,
however
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, I tend to believe that we should combine traditional
classroom
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 and online learning to get the benefits from these two approaches.

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all sentences in the paragraph support this idea. This will improve logical structure.
task achievement
While your conclusion summarizes your opinion, it could be more explicit. Clearly state the combined approach's advantages in your conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Use more varied vocabulary and complex sentence structures to enhance the richness of your essay. This can elevate your score.
coherence and cohesion
Good structure with clear support for both views presented in separate paragraphs. This aids the overall readability of the essay.
task achievement
Relevant examples provided for both online and traditional education, showcasing thoughtfulness in the discussion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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