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Band 5.5

The best way to solve the world's enviromental prolem is to increase the price of fuel. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#world #prolem #price #fuel
Our environment suffers from many
problems
such
 as global warming and air pollution.
Fuel
 is responsible for many environmental
problems
 like global warming. It is agreed that when doubling the current cost of petroleum, many of our
problems
 will go away.
This
 essay will analyze how increasing the price will be the most beneficial way to save our world's environment.
Firstly
, when increasing the price of
fuel
, most of the current population will avoid buying it, as
it's
Correct your spelling
its
show examples
 cost is much increased.
For instance
, the poor and rich won't buy it any more than before because of its high interest. It will reduce the amount of
fuel
that is
 consumed on Earth exponentially. That will resolve the problem of
fuel
 in our world.
Also
 with
this
 solution, many
problems
 in
this
 world will be resolved automatically,
such
 as global warming and air pollution, which
fuel
 may be indirect or direct to it.
This
 will make our lives easier and our air will be less contaminated because of the lesser consumption of
fuel
. It is a great statement anyone can have in their minds to avoid petroleum. To summarise, when increasing in an exaggerated way the cost of gas, the community will stop spending to buy
fuel
, which will result in many of the earth's complications blowing away. It is predicted that if we don't stop
fuel
 consumption, many issues will be created so we should stop now .
Submitted by mrbukhari9 on

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task achievement
Try to develop stronger arguments and provide more specific examples to support your points. This will help in making your essay more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Work on creating clearer and more logical transitions between paragraphs. This will improve the overall flow and readability of your essay.
task achievement
Ensure that your main points are always well-supported by relevant specific examples. This will make your arguments more credible and comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which provide a good framing for the argument.
task achievement
You have addressed the task by discussing the potential benefits of increasing the price of fuel, which shows a clear understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your ideas are presented clearly, and the essay is generally easy to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • incentivization
  • sustainable
  • renewable energy sources
  • economic repercussions
  • disproportionately
  • greenhouse gas emissions
  • innovation
  • behavioral changes
  • public transportation
  • government intervention
  • subsidies
  • rebates
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