IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The line graph shows thefts per thousand vehicles in four countries between 1990 and 1999. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The line graph shows thefts per thousand vehicles in four countries between 1990 and 1999. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
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The graph compares the number of thefts per thousand cars in various countries during the
years
 1990 and 1999.
Overall
, all of the four countries faced volatility of car robbery throughout the
years
,
however
 during the
last
 few
years
 Great Britain and France experienced a declining rate
while
Canada
 and
Sweden
 faced a rising rate. In 1990, Great Britain was the country with the highest robbery rate,
reported with
Wrong verb form
reporting
show examples
 almost 20 thefts, a stark contrast to France with a little over 5 thefts.
However
, around the year 1996, either started to see a reduced number of robberies,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 keeps lowering to a little above 15 for Great Britain and to just over 5 for France after previously
experienced
Wrong verb form
experiencing
show examples
 its highest at almost 10.
On the other hand
, in
Canada
 and
Sweden
Add a comma
Sweden,
show examples
 the events of car stealing keep increasing during the
last
 four
years
.
Sweden
begun
Add the auxiliary verb
began
show examples
 with almost 10 and
Canada
 a little lower in 1990,
then
Sweden
 rose to almost 15,
while
Canada
 returned
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
 slightly above 5 in 1990 after
experienced
Wrong verb form
experiencing
show examples
 a decrease in 1993 to around 5.
Submitted by annzhr on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, last, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words years, canada, sweden with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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