Some people think the the main purpose of schools is to turn children into good citizens and workers, instead of benefiting them as individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Some people
argued
that the main aim of Wrong verb form
argue
schools
is to turn pupils into good people and workers , instead
of helping them as individuals . I strongly believe that the main purose
of Correct your spelling
purpose
schools
are
to provide all sorts of help to build their career of choice rather than focus on developing them as good Change the verb form
is
citizen
which I believe Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
responsibilities
of Fix the agreement mistake
responsibility
parents
.
To begin
with , schools
play a vital role
in a
growth of Correct article usage
the
childrens
. Correct your spelling
children
In other words
, schools
enroll
Change the spelling
enrol
children
in various activities so that find out their inner talent and develope
their skill set in it . Correct your spelling
develop
For example
, all children
have their own speciality and the role
of the teachers are
to enhance the productivity inside Correct subject-verb agreement
is
kidz
by improving their Change the capitalization
Kidz
weakness
and Fix the agreement mistake
weaknesses
direct
to Correct word choice
directing them
right
path for their career goals Add an article
the right
such
as child
who Add an article
a child
the child
like
to participate in a Correct subject-verb agreement
likes
sport
activity Change the noun form
sports
then
it is responsibility
of school Add an article
the responsibility
sport
teacher to provide all kind of help that child needs.
On Change the noun form
sports
other
hand, Correct article usage
the other
parents
play very
essential Add an article
a very
role
to turn
their Change preposition
in turning
kids
to
better citizens . Change preposition
into
In other words
, it all depends on children
environment at home .If Change noun form
children's
children
brought
up by watching their Add a missing verb
are brought
parents
positive behavior Change to a genitive case
parent's
parents'
then
most likely those kids
naturally
good citizens .Add a missing verb
are naturally
Also
, punchuality
and time management are the basic skills that most Correct your spelling
punctuality
of
Change preposition
apply
kids
learn from their parents
and these manners will apply at
Change preposition
in
workplace
environment too . Correct article usage
the workplace
For example
, children
who lives
in bad conditions Change the verb form
live
such
as one of the parent
makes money Fix the agreement mistake
parents
illegaly
Correct your spelling
illegally
then
kid most likely to follow same
path in the future .
In conclusion , some Change the article
the same
states
that the main aim of the Fix the agreement mistake
state
schools
are
to teach Change the verb form
is
kids
to become good citizen
and workers Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
instead
of benefiting them as individuals . However
, I believe parents
are role
models for kids
to make them good citizens and schools
should enhance the indvidual
personality of Correct your spelling
individual
kids
.Submitted by kmlchahal97 on
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grammar
Try to eliminate small grammatical errors and ensure correct spelling throughout the essay to improve clarity and professionalism.
cohesion
Consider using more varied sentence structures and transitions to improve the flow between ideas and the readability of your essay. This will also enhance coherence and cohesion.
task response
Expand on your examples and provide additional specific evidence to strengthen your arguments. This will help to support your main points more effectively.
task response
Your essay presents a clear position on the topic and offers reasons to support your perspective.
coherence
You have effectively organized your essay into distinct paragraphs with a logical structure, making it easier to follow your argument.
task response
You have made a good attempt to incorporate specific examples and personal insights that are relevant to the topic.