nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties having enough sleep what are problems caused by lack of sleep? what can be done about this lack of sleep?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Recently, a lot of individuals are experiencing
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
of sleep
majorly
Rephrase
mainly
show examples
due to
hectic
schedule
Fix the agreement mistake
schedules
show examples
which can lead to
health
issues but
this
can be eradicated by leading a more balanced and healthy life. In the following
paragraphs
Add a comma
paragraphs,
show examples
I will be shedding light on a few more problems that can be faced
due to
sleep deprivation
along with
its possible solution.
To begin
with the
health
hazards, sleeping for
lesser
Correct article usage
a lesser
show examples
duration can cause
stressful
Correct article usage
a stressful
show examples
mind
leading to
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
of concentration and it may become
frustating
Correct your spelling
frustrating
for an individual if the problem
persist
Change the verb form
persists
show examples
for
longer
Add an article
a longer
show examples
period.
Additionally
, a tired
mind
can become a major cause for numerous
health
issues
such
as heart
aliments
Correct your spelling
ailments
show examples
, hormonal problems and so on.
Thus
, it is necessary to take measures timely before it is too late. Moving on to the solutions,
one
can start with meditation as it helps in relaxing the
mind
which will help an individual to get proper sleep.
Along with
this
,
one
can start following any physical activity
such
running
Change preposition
as running
show examples
, cycling, swimming or any form of
excersing
Correct your spelling
exercise
as they will release hormones which
helps
Change the verb form
help
show examples
in relaxing the cerebral nerves leading to a good
night
Change noun form
night's
show examples
sleep. To
summeriaze
Correct your spelling
summarise
, it is
utmost
Change preposition
of utmost
show examples
important
Replace the word
importance
show examples
to look after
one
's
health
and have a proper relaxing time for themselves as a
distured
Correct your spelling
disturbed
mind
can never be a place for a healthy body.
Thus
, sleeping for
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
eight hours is what
one
is required to do in his/her life.
Submitted by bindiya.gupta01 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

general
Your essay has a clear structure, but some ideas could be more fully developed to provide a more comprehensive answer to the prompt. Ensure each point is supported with specific examples or detailed explanations.
task response
Try to avoid over-generalizations and instead provide specific examples or data to substantiate your claims. This will help strengthen your arguments and make your essay more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Some sentences are repetitive or could be more concise. Vary your sentence structure and avoid redundancy to improve flow and readability.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your argument effectively.
coherence cohesion
The use of linking phrases helps in maintaining the flow between paragraphs.
task response
You addressed both parts of the question, identifying problems and suggesting solutions.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Insomnia
  • Sleep deprivation
  • Sleep disorders
  • Sleep quality
  • Fatigue
  • Exhaustion
  • Restless
  • Restorative sleep
  • REM sleep
  • Circadian rhythm
  • Sleep hygiene
  • Napping
  • Sleep duration
  • Melatonin
  • Sleep-inducing
  • Drowsiness
  • Sleep disturbances
  • Obstructive sleep apnea
  • Snoring
  • Sleepwalking
  • Sleep talking
  • Shift work
  • Sleeping pills
  • Sleep aid
  • Relaxation techniques
  • Meditation
  • Deep breathing
What to do next:
Look at other essays: