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Band 6.5

the bar chart below shows the percentage of unemplyoyed graduatess, aged 20-24, in one European country over a twoo-year period

the bar chart below shows the percentage of unemplyoyed graduatess, aged 20-24, in one European country over a twoo-year period
#bar #percentage #graduatess #european #country #twoo-year #period
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The diagram below delineates the
percentage
 of students who were unemployed after
graduated
Wrong verb form
graduating
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 from 2008 to 2009
Overall
, out of all the dates, October 2009 had the highest
percentage
 of
unemployment
Replace the word
unemployed
show examples
 graduates for both
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 and
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 alike. One thing to note was that there
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
massive
Correct article usage
a massive
show examples
increasement
Correct your spelling
increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
unemployment
 from 2008 to 2009. Looking at the table, in 2008 there were a few noticeable features. Out of all 4 months in the graph, men were always higher than women in
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
show examples
 of
unemployment
. Interestingly, both months April and July had almost the same
percentage
 at 7
percent
 for
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 and 2
percent
 for
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
.
However
Add a comma
However,
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 in October, the percentages had a massive surge with 16
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 for
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 and 11
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 for
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
.
Compare
Wrong verb form
Compared
show examples
 to 2008, in 2009 there
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 an obvious increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
unemployment
Replace the word
unemployed
show examples
graduates
Change preposition
in graduates
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 since January with 12
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 and 8
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
. In April 2009,
while
 the men
percentage
 stayed similar to the first month, the
percentage
 of women dropped dramatically to only 6
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. 2009
unemployment
 graduates peaked in October with
men
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men's
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unemployment
percentage
 at 22
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 and
woman
Fix the agreement mistake
women
show examples
 at 14
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
Submitted by dohuyhoang on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, unemployment, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 7 times.
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