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the bar chart below shows the percentage of unemplyoyed graduatess, aged 20-24, in one European country over a twoo-year period

the bar chart below shows the percentage of unemplyoyed graduatess, aged 20-24, in one European country over a twoo-year period
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The diagram below delineates the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of students who were unemployed after
graduated
Wrong verb form
graduating
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 from 2008 to 2009
Overall
Linking Words
, out of all the dates, October 2009 had the highest
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
unemployment
Replace the word
unemployed
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 graduates for both
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
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 and
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 alike. One thing to note was that there
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
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massive
Correct article usage
a massive
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increasement
Correct your spelling
increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
unemployment
Use synonyms
 from 2008 to 2009. Looking at the table, in 2008 there were a few noticeable features. Out of all 4 months in the graph, men were always higher than women in
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
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 of
unemployment
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. Interestingly, both months April and July had almost the same
percentage
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 at 7
percent
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 for
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
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 and 2
percent
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 for
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
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 in October, the percentages had a massive surge with 16
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 for
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
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 and 11
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 for
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
.
Compare
Wrong verb form
Compared
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 to 2008, in 2009 there
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 an obvious increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
Use synonyms
unemployment
Replace the word
unemployed
show examples
graduates
Change preposition
in graduates
show examples
 since January with 12
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
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 and 8
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
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. In April 2009,
while
Linking Words
 the men
percentage
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 stayed similar to the first month, the
percentage
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 of women dropped dramatically to only 6
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. 2009
unemployment
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 graduates peaked in October with
men
Change noun form
men's
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unemployment
Use synonyms
percentage
Use synonyms
 at 22
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 and
woman
Fix the agreement mistake
women
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 at 14
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, unemployment, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 7 times.
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