Nowadays parents put too much pressure on their children to succeed. what is the reason for parents doing this? is this a positive or negative development for the children?

Nowadays, many
parents
put a lot of
pressure
on their
children
to be
successful
Add an article
a successful
show examples
person in their
lives
. These
iedas
Correct your spelling
ideas
originated from
parents
Change noun form
parents'
parent's
show examples
opinion
Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
show examples
about having better
gob
Correct your spelling
jobs
show examples
in the future and having
identity
Add an article
an identity
show examples
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
this
strategy can have a negative effect on their
children
.
To begin
with, the problem of
put
Change the form of the verb
putting
show examples
a lot of
pressure
on the
children
by their
parents
is
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
having a better occupation with
high
Add an article
a high
the high
show examples
rate of salaries in the future. because they are of the opinion that when the
children
study hard and improve their knowledge. they have
this
opportunity to study
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
one of the best
university
Fix the agreement mistake
universities
show examples
entire the world.
that is
why, after graduating they can find the best profession with
Correct article usage
a suitalble
show examples
suitalble
Correct your spelling
suitable
salary which will result in having a
wealfare
Correct your spelling
welfare
in their
lives
.
this
way, they can benefit from
luxuries
Replace the word
luxurious
show examples
facilities in their
lives
.
moreover
, it can help them to have an identity in the society. because when people go to university, they spend a lot of time
to be
Change the verb form
being
show examples
educated people.
this
style, they can help to have a high value in the hometown.
so
Capitalize word
So
show examples
, they have
this
opportunity to interact with successful
persons
Replace the word
people
show examples
in their life and they keep their lifestyle to
fullfill
Correct your spelling
fulfil
the sense of
accompolishment
Correct your spelling
accomplishment
in their
lives
.
however
, putting a large amount of
pressure
on the
children
can have
negative
Add an article
a negative
show examples
impact on them. because they can not achieve better
reasult
Correct your spelling
results
result
in their
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
, especially in their career.
that is
why, doing
Correct article usage
a complusry
show examples
complusry
Correct your spelling
compulsory
job can not be
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
ideas
Fix the agreement mistake
idea
show examples
for
children
.
this
strategy can create many problems for them. not only physical problems, but
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
also
mental disorders like depression. In conclusion, it is true that the problem of putting
pressure
on
children by
Change preposition
children's
show examples
parents
can not be solved quickly,there is
not a
Rephrase
no
show examples
reason to avoid
take
Change the form of the verb
taking
show examples
action.
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
would say
partent
Correct your spelling
parent
parents
can encourage their
children
to do
task
Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
show examples
based on their
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
with out
Correct your spelling
without
show examples
any
pressure
on them.
Submitted by salehmiri1995 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure all parts of the task are addressed with equal weighting. Elaborate more on the reasons for pressure and clearly discuss if it is a positive or negative development.
coherence cohesion
Improve logical progression by using linking words and phrases. For example, use connectors like 'Firstly,' 'Secondly,' and transition sentences more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to singular and plural forms, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure. Also, avoid run-on sentences and ensure complete thoughts.
task achievement
You have tackled a relevant and current issue, demonstrating awareness of societal trends.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear beginning and end, with an introduction and conclusion that relate to the topic.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Excessive pressure
  • Academic achievements
  • Professional success
  • Secure future
  • Social comparison
  • Competitive environment
  • Psychological impact
  • Stress and anxiety
  • Resilience
  • Work ethic
  • Emotional well-being
  • Supportive parenting
  • Achievements
  • Life skills
  • Balance
What to do next:
Look at other essays: