Nowadays parents put too much pressure on their children to succeed. what is the reason for parents doing this? is this a positive or negative development for the children?

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Nowadays, many
parents
put a lot of
pressure
on their
children
to be
successful
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a successful
show examples
person in their
lives
. These
iedas
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ideas
originated from
parents
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parents'
parent's
show examples
opinion
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opinions
show examples
about having better
gob
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jobs
show examples
in the future and having
identity
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an identity
show examples
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
this
strategy can have a negative effect on their
children
.
To begin
with, the problem of
put
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putting
show examples
a lot of
pressure
on the
children
by their
parents
is
that
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apply
show examples
having a better occupation with
high
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a high
the high
show examples
rate of salaries in the future. because they are of the opinion that when the
children
study hard and improve their knowledge. they have
this
opportunity to study
in
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at
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one of the best
university
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universities
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entire the world.
that is
why, after graduating they can find the best profession with
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a suitalble
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suitalble
Correct your spelling
suitable
salary which will result in having a
wealfare
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welfare
in their
lives
.
this
way, they can benefit from
luxuries
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luxurious
show examples
facilities in their
lives
.
moreover
, it can help them to have an identity in the society. because when people go to university, they spend a lot of time
to be
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being
show examples
educated people.
this
style, they can help to have a high value in the hometown.
so
Capitalize word
So
show examples
, they have
this
opportunity to interact with successful
persons
Replace the word
people
show examples
in their life and they keep their lifestyle to
fullfill
Correct your spelling
fulfil
the sense of
accompolishment
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accomplishment
in their
lives
.
however
, putting a large amount of
pressure
on the
children
can have
negative
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a negative
show examples
impact on them. because they can not achieve better
reasult
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results
result
in their
activites
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activities
, especially in their career.
that is
why, doing
Correct article usage
a complusry
show examples
complusry
Correct your spelling
compulsory
job can not be
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
ideas
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idea
show examples
for
children
.
this
strategy can create many problems for them. not only physical problems, but
it
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apply
show examples
also
mental disorders like depression. In conclusion, it is true that the problem of putting
pressure
on
children by
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children's
show examples
parents
can not be solved quickly,there is
not a
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no
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reason to avoid
take
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taking
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action.
i
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I
show examples
would say
partent
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parent
parents
can encourage their
children
to do
task
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tasks
show examples
based on their
favorite
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favourite
show examples
with out
Correct your spelling
without
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any
pressure
on them.
Submitted by salehmiri1995 on

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task achievement
Ensure all parts of the task are addressed with equal weighting. Elaborate more on the reasons for pressure and clearly discuss if it is a positive or negative development.
coherence cohesion
Improve logical progression by using linking words and phrases. For example, use connectors like 'Firstly,' 'Secondly,' and transition sentences more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to singular and plural forms, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure. Also, avoid run-on sentences and ensure complete thoughts.
task achievement
You have tackled a relevant and current issue, demonstrating awareness of societal trends.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear beginning and end, with an introduction and conclusion that relate to the topic.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Excessive pressure
  • Academic achievements
  • Professional success
  • Secure future
  • Social comparison
  • Competitive environment
  • Psychological impact
  • Stress and anxiety
  • Resilience
  • Work ethic
  • Emotional well-being
  • Supportive parenting
  • Achievements
  • Life skills
  • Balance
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