Nowadays parents put too much pressure on their children to succeed. what is the reason for parents doing this? is this a positive or negative development for the children?
Nowadays, many
parents
put a lot of pressure
on their children
to be successful
person in their Add an article
a successful
lives
. These iedas
originated from Correct your spelling
ideas
parents
Change noun form
parents'
parent's
opinion
about having better Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
gob
in the future and having Correct your spelling
jobs
identity
in Add an article
an identity
the
society. Correct article usage
apply
this
strategy can have a negative effect on their children
.
To begin
with, the problem of put
a lot of Change the form of the verb
putting
pressure
on the children
by their parents
is that
having a better occupation with Correct word choice
apply
high
rate of salaries in the future. because they are of the opinion that when the Add an article
a high
the high
children
study hard and improve their knowledge. they have this
opportunity to study in
one of the best Change preposition
at
university
entire the world. Fix the agreement mistake
universities
that is
why, after graduating they can find the best profession with Correct article usage
a suitalble
suitalble
salary which will result in having a Correct your spelling
suitable
wealfare
in their Correct your spelling
welfare
lives
.this
way, they can benefit from luxuries
facilities in their Replace the word
luxurious
lives
. moreover
, it can help them to have an identity in the society. because when people go to university, they spend a lot of time to be
educated people. Change the verb form
being
this
style, they can help to have a high value in the hometown.so
, they have Capitalize word
So
this
opportunity to interact with successful persons
in their life and they keep their lifestyle to Replace the word
people
fullfill
the sense of Correct your spelling
fulfil
accompolishment
in their Correct your spelling
accomplishment
lives
.
however
, putting a large amount of pressure
on the children
can have negative
impact on them. because they can not achieve better Add an article
a negative
reasult
in their Correct your spelling
results
result
activites
, especially in their career. Correct your spelling
activities
that is
why, doing Correct article usage
a complusry
complusry
job can not be Correct your spelling
compulsory
good
Correct article usage
a good
ideas
for Fix the agreement mistake
idea
children
. this
strategy can create many problems for them. not only physical problems, but it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
also
mental disorders like depression.
In conclusion, it is true that the problem of putting pressure
on children by
Change preposition
children's
parents
can not be solved quickly,there is not a
reason to avoid Rephrase
no
take
action.Change the form of the verb
taking
i
would say Change the capitalization
I
partent
can encourage their Correct your spelling
parent
parents
children
to do task
based on their Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
with out
any Correct your spelling
without
pressure
on them.Submitted by salehmiri1995 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Ensure all parts of the task are addressed with equal weighting. Elaborate more on the reasons for pressure and clearly discuss if it is a positive or negative development.
coherence cohesion
Improve logical progression by using linking words and phrases. For example, use connectors like 'Firstly,' 'Secondly,' and transition sentences more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to singular and plural forms, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure. Also, avoid run-on sentences and ensure complete thoughts.
task achievement
You have tackled a relevant and current issue, demonstrating awareness of societal trends.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear beginning and end, with an introduction and conclusion that relate to the topic.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite