It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Risk-taking is a necessary decision we would ever need to take in our lives. Some people are saying that we should take any opportunities that come to us even if it means that the opportunities have high risks.
However
, there are some disadvantages to risk-taking. Some benefits could be gotten if we are brave enough to take any uncertainty,
such
as the experiences we could get when we are taking it. If we never take the prospect that comes to us,
then
we never experience something new.
For example
, when I was in high school, someone called me to offer a student exchange to Japan. At that moment, I was sceptical, but I was doing some research
while
also
measuring the perks that I could get if I accepted
this
opportunity. In the end, I was taking the peril and I got the experience I would never forget in my life.
In contrast
, taking an opportunity
also
might evoke some drawbacks. One of them is that we failed during the process
thus
we would never be able to enjoy the benefits.
In addition
, someone
also
might trick us into taking a fake chance if we do not assess it carefully. In my opinion, making an attempt still outweighs the downsides that we get when we take a chance. The potential burden can be mitigated by making sure that the chance is legit
thus
the risk that someone might trick us is lower.
Therefore
, the advantage of taking peril exceeds the drawbacks of it.
Submitted by rianadmaja on

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coherence cohesion
Work on refining the logical structure of your essay. Make sure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next and that all points are clearly linked to create a cohesive argument.
task achievement
Take some time to elaborate on your ideas more comprehensively. Some points need further development to provide a clearer and more convincing argument.
task achievement
Your essay effectively presents a balanced view by addressing both advantages and disadvantages of taking risks.
task achievement
The personal example provided regarding the student exchange to Japan adds a relevant and specific example that supports your point well.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your opinion and reinforces your argument that the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
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