IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

As the internet becomes more popular, newspapers are becoming a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words.

#internet #newspapers
Many people believe that the
papers
 will become
obsolute
Correct your spelling
obsolete
absolute
 in the future,
due to
 the increasing popularity of the internet.
On the other hand
, conventional
newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
show examples
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 lost
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 allure somewhat to the young generation, as they think old media is biased. From my point of view, though it will not be easy,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
newspapers
 will eventually die out.
Internet
Correct article usage
The Internet
show examples
not
Add a missing verb
has not
show examples
 only allowed us access to many sources of
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
, it has given us numerous independent
news
platforms
. These online
medias
Correct your spelling
media
show examples
 have been reporting their
news
 without any corporate influences or sponsors, but with peoples'
donation
Fix the agreement mistake
donations
show examples
 and online advertisement revenues.
As a result
,
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
tend
Correct subject-verb agreement
tends
show examples
 to believe that they are unbiased and
comfortabily
Correct your spelling
comfortably
comfortable
 consume their contents.
In addition
 to that, these online
platforms
 frequently point out the
biasness
Correct your spelling
biases
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
traditional
papers
.
Such
medias
Correct your spelling
media
show examples
 are
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 The Young Turks and The Tucker Carlson Show. Though, for the same fact that traditional
papers
 have corporate backing, it is hard for these online
medias
Correct your spelling
media
show examples
 to compete against them.
In addition
 to unbiased reporting, online media
platforms
 can provide better quality
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
 than the
papers
. Traditional
newspapers
 are bound by their limited word quotas and pages,
whereas
 online
newsportals
Correct your spelling
news portals
,
such
 as blogs and YouTube videos,
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 no limits on words or pages.
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
 they can provide videos that can explain the
news
 better.
Such
 precedence was created during the 2016 United
States'
Change noun form
States
show examples
 presidential election. At that time, candidates preferred to attend various podcasts,
such
 as Joe Rogan Experience than giving interviews to
newspapers
. To
summerise
Correct your spelling
summarise
show examples
, as the internet is reaching rapidly to every doorstep,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
online media
platforms
 are becoming increasingly popular.
However
, fighting against
corporate backed
Add a hyphen
corporate-backed
show examples
 giant
newspapers
 will be difficult for these growing
news
 outlets.
Though
Correct word choice
However
show examples
 I believe,
if
Correct word choice
that if
show examples
 people
continues
Change the verb form
continue
show examples
 to reject these traditional
papers
, online journalism will extinct
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
in future.
Submitted by mostakahmedfaysal on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

grammar
Work on grammar and sentence structures to improve the readability and clarity of your essay. For example, 'comfortabily' should be 'comfortably' and 'informations' should be 'information.'
task response
Ensure that you cover all parts of the task clearly. While you mentioned the influence of the internet and declining appeal of newspapers, providing stronger specific examples would bolster your argument.
cohesion
Maintain consistency in your argument throughout the essay. Repeated statements about the decline of newspapers could be joined to avoid redundancy and enhance clarity.
introduction conclusion
Strive for a more compelling introduction and conclusion to increase the strength of your arguments. Make sure both sections are clearly linked to the main points you discuss.
task response
The essay addresses the task topic and offers a clear stance on the future of newspapers vs. online media.
task response examples
The essay includes specific examples such as The Young Turks, The Tucker Carlson Show, and Joe Rogan Experience, making the arguments more credible.
structure
The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, each discussing distinct points in support of the argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Access
  • Convenient
  • Fast
  • Expensive
  • Wider range
  • News sources
  • Perspectives
  • Readership
  • Demographics
  • Physical
  • Tangible
  • Reading experience
What to do next:
Look at other essays: