IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In many countries imprisonment is the most common solution to crimes. However, some people believe that better education will be a more effective solution. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In recent years, the topic of imprisoning criminals in many countries has undeniably become a critical issue for the general public.
While
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 some
individuals
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 argue that better
education
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 will be a more effective solution. I firmly assert that imprisonment is the most common solution to crimes.
This
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 essay will provide a thorough examination of these contracting perspectives. On the one hand, it is essential to recognize that
individuals
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 should acknowledge the significant advantages associated with the benefits of prison can be seen from several perspectives, including societal, individual and legal aspects. A crucial consideration is that prisons help remove dangerous
individuals
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 from society thereby reducing crimes, proving rates and protecting citizens, which highlights that prisons serve as a means of punishment for those who commit crimes, providing a consequence that reflects the seriousness of their actions.
In addition
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, another important point to emphasize is time spent in prison can provide
individuals
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 with an opportunity to reflect on their choices and the impact of their behaviour, potentially leading to personal growth and change.
This
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 is
due to
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 the fact that by enforcing laws and imposing penalties for criminal behaviour, prisons contribute to maintaining social order and upholding the rule of law .
On the other hand
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, some measures should be applied to some specific
education
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 offer work programs that can help inmates develop skills and work experience, aiding their chances of employment post-release. In fact, people have
this
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 opinion because many
education
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 systems offer programs aimed at rehabilitation offenders.
Moreover
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, from my perspective, people should these can include educational classes, vocational training, and therapeutic programs designed to help inmates reintegrate into society after their release. .In conclusion, people should have
further
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 consideration of
this
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 issue. In my opinion, there is no absolute way for better detention or
education
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 policies whether or not to play a leading role in handling criminals or not because both of them solve the game in different ways.

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task achievement
Your introduction does not clearly outline your stance. Consider explicitly stating your agreement or disagreement with the given topic to strengthen your position.
coherence and cohesion
There are some run-on sentences and grammatical errors that make certain points difficult to follow. Try breaking complex ideas into simpler, clearer sentences.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph relates back to your main argument. The connection between education being an effective solution and the potential benefits of imprisonment needs to be clearer.
content
You make relevant points about the role of imprisonment in protecting society and providing personal reflection for offenders. These are important aspects of the discussion.
content
Your essay addresses both sides of the argument, demonstrating an understanding of the complexity of the issue.
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