Some people think that the best way to improve road safety is to increase the minimum legal age for driving a car or motorbike. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is a debate about whether
Correct article usage
the goverment
show examples
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
governments
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
to increase the legal
age
to regulate individuals in driving a car or motorbike. Some
people
think it is
a
Change the article
an
show examples
appropriate method
while
some
people
not
Add a missing verb
do not
show examples
support it. I think the disadvantages are more than
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
.
This
Change preposition
In this
show examples
essay the reason
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
why I disagree will be discussed.
Firstly
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
want to
decline
Verb problem
reduce
show examples
the rate of drivers' risk behaviors, Increasing
drivers
Change noun form
driver's
drivers'
show examples
legal
age
maybe is
Wrong verb form
may be
show examples
one
of the
solution
Change to a plural noun
solutions
show examples
,
however
It is reasonable that
lower
Correct article usage
a lower
show examples
age
can not
leds
Fix the agreement mistake
lead to
show examples
risk behaviors. The
envidence
Correct your spelling
evidence
from searching agency shows that
top
Correct article usage
the top
show examples
3 reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
traffic
accidents
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
driving after drinking wine, ignoring
traffic
light
Fix the agreement mistake
lights
show examples
, and over-speed driving respectively.
Secondly
,
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
and
university
Fix the agreement mistake
universities
show examples
need
Fix the infinitive
to enhence
show examples
enhence
Correct your spelling
enhance
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
education
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
road
safety If we want young
people
take
Verb problem
to pay
show examples
attention
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
it. Once young
people
note
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the
dangerous
Replace the word
dangers
show examples
of
traffic
, they may be changed.
Additionally
, If we want to advanced
responce
Correct your spelling
responses
from young
people
, elderly
people
as young
people
's parents need
be
Fix the infinitive
to be
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good
model
Fix the agreement mistake
models
show examples
.
Thridly
Correct your spelling
Thirdly
, every
one
of the society will benefits from that
road
become safe. So not only
driver
Fix the agreement mistake
drivers
show examples
or
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
,
Add the word(s)
, but
show examples
other
Change the wording
another
show examples
one
Fix the agreement mistake
ones
show examples
also
play
a
Change the article
an
show examples
important role
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
problem.
For example
,
last
year I applied for a volunteer in my society
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and helped to design the poster ,
Correct word choice
and advertised
show examples
advertised
Wrong verb form
advertise
show examples
safe information to residents. The rate of
traffic
accident
Fix the agreement mistake
accidents
show examples
dropped
40
Change preposition
by 40
show examples
% than
previous
Add an article
the previous
show examples
year. In conclusion, decreasing
minimum
Correct article usage
the minimum
show examples
legal
age
for
driver
Fix the agreement mistake
drivers
show examples
is not
a
Change the article
an
show examples
efficient solution to address the problem of
road
safety as
age
Add an article
the age
show examples
of
driver
Fix the agreement mistake
drivers
show examples
not is
Change the verb form
is not
show examples
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
important reason. But If
every
Replace the word
everyone
show examples
one
has
responsebility
Correct your spelling
responsibility
for
take
Change the verb form
taking
show examples
attention on
road
safety.
Submitted by 892284133 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

grammatical range accuracy
Improve the grammatical accuracy by paying attention to subject-verb agreement and sentence structure.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has one main idea and develop it fully with supporting details before moving to the next idea.
lexical resource
Work on improving vocabulary range to avoid repetition of words and to use more precise words.
task achievement
The essay clearly identifies the stance of the writer and addresses the topic.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are present and contribute to the overall structure of the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: