Some people think that governments should ban dangerous sports, while others think people should have freedom to do any sports or activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #governments #ban #sports #freedom #activity

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Some individuals are of the opinion that it is safer to ban dangerous

sports

Use synonyms

while

Linking Words

there

still

Add a missing verb

are still

show examples

some reservations that athletes should have

Correct article usage

the rights

show examples

rights

Fix the agreement mistake

right

show examples

to go for any

sports

Use synonyms

they want. From

this

Linking Words

writer's perspective, I wholly believe that it is better for them to make decisions on any activities they are keen on.

This

Linking Words

essay will expound upon

this

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by giving compelling reasons and practical examples. On the one hand, it is undeniable that banning unsafety

sports

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has several benefits.

Firstly

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, if it is impossible to play these

sports

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, athletes could avoid injury.

Therefore

Linking Words

, they may live economically

due to

Linking Words

saving a huge cost of curing

from

Change preposition

apply

show examples

accidents when playing dangerous

sports

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For instance

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, one of the greatest soccer

players

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of all time, called Messi was injured in recent years and it compromised

Change preposition

apply

show examples

his walking ability;

furthermore

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, he had to spend a large amount of money to cure his broken leg.

On the other hand

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, there are tons of activities that play an indispensable role in daily life. Specifically, dangerous

sports

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instill

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instil

show examples

in them a sense of responsibility and discipline.

Thus

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, from their maturing experience they learned, they might easily face problems without giving up, which leads to comfortable accomplishing challenges. An example relevant to

this

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situation is playing basketball could cause

players

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' ankles to be twisted;

however

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according to

Linking Words

the newest report, most

players

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are responsible for that kind of accident, and never

giving

Wrong verb form

give

show examples

up,

along with

Linking Words

investing all of their effort to contribute to achieving game-winners. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

people who support banning unsafety

sports

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have their own understandable arguments, I totally lean on the side of those who think everyone

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

the right to decide to do any activities, as long as that

Use synonyms

sports

Change the determiner

sport

show examples

is controllable, it is beneficial to

players

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such

Linking Words

instill

Change the spelling

instil

show examples

in them a sense of responsibility, getting used to facing challenges and dealing with problems more easily.

Thu Jun 20 2024

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coherence cohesion

Your introduction is concise and introduces both sides of the argument, but it could be clearer in outlining the structure of your essay to increase coherence. Consider mentioning the main points you will discuss in your body paragraphs.

task achievement

In your body paragraphs, you provide relevant examples which is excellent. However, try to elaborate further on how these examples directly support your main arguments. This will help to increase your task achievement score.

coherence cohesion

The essay's transition between ideas and paragraphs is generally good, but occasionally the flow of your argument can be improved. Ensure that each paragraph logically follows on from the previous one, adding cohesive devices where necessary.

coherence cohesion

Your conclusion reiterates your main opinion clearly and succinctly, effectively summarizing the discussion.

task achievement

You have a strong range of vocabulary and use it effectively, particularly in articulating your opinion and examples.

14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5

6.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

6.5

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

316 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

severe injuries
fatalities
base jumping
bull running
extreme skiing
safeguard
well-being
regulating
avoidable harm
healthcare costs
burdening
personal freedom
autonomy
training
equipment
mitigated
personal satisfaction
mental health benefits
resilience
adventure
assess risks
public safety
unnecessary healthcare costs
outright bans
balanced approach
stringent safety standards
mandatory training sessions
adequately informed
safeguarding
public health

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In the future, people may no longer be able to pay for things in shops using cash. All payments may have to be made by card or using phones. Do you think this will happen one day? Why do you think some people might not be happy to give up using cash?

Some people say computers have made life more difficult and complicated, others think that it has made our lives easier. Do you agree or disagree? Give specific reasons and examples to support your view.

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.