Computer games are very popular for all ages and nationalities. Parents think this has little educational value and it will be harmful for children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#computer #games #ages #nationalities #parents #value #children

Computer

games

are really famous for all children and adults in numerous

contries

Correct your spelling

countries

Nevertheless

, mothers and fathers

seems

Change the verb form

seem

show examples

to them that computer

games

contain some bad values. In my opinion, I agree with what some parents think about

comutrer

Correct your spelling

computer

games

however

, it seems to me that it has some

benefit

Fix the agreement mistake

benefits

show examples

. There are two main reasons why I agree with fathers and mothers who

thinks

Change the verb form

think

show examples

that computer

games

are harmful. The first reason is that some kids are always busy with it

Change preposition

for

show examples

their whole day. The other reason

that is

some children get to know new bad online friends and copy their

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

. Apart from the benefit I believe that,

Submitted by ryalhamdan on Thu Jun 20 2024

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task achievement

The essay does not fully address the prompt. You should expand your discussion on the potential benefits and harms of computer games with more specific examples.

coherence cohesion

While your introduction presents your stance, you need to provide a conclusion to summarize your arguments. Additionally, make sure to complete your thoughts and provide more exhaustive reasoning.

task achievement

You should include more supporting details and examples to bolster your arguments. This will help in making your essay more convincing.

task achievement

The introductory paragraph gives a clear indication of your stance, which is a positive aspect.

coherence cohesion

Your language is generally clear and understandable, despite some minor grammatical errors.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

110 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Computer games are very popular for all ages and nationalities. Parents think this has little educational value and it will be harmful for children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

People who damage public property, such as buildings or statues should be required to do community service (such as cleaning parks) as a punishment rather than other forms of punishment (such as paying a fine or going to prison). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people work long hour, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

While many people go to university for academic study, more people should be encouraged to do vocational training because there is a lack of qualified workers such as electricians and plumbers. Do you agree or disagree?