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Band 7

There is a wealth of information on the Internet; however, some people suggest that it is not the best place to look for information. How far do you agree with this view?

#wealth #information #internet #people #place
The internet is one of the most important technological developments of the
last
 years, and it has plenty of reliable and trustfully
data
.
Although
 some individuals believe that it is not the best
source
 of
information
, I completely disagree with that statement. Many important academic institutions have their studies and projects posted on the web. The best
news
 journals show their carefully written reports to the public without any cost. Universities
such
 as Harvard, Stanford, and Toronto have their
websites
 open to people who want to look for documents and reports of previous studies that these universities have performed.
Additionally
, if you need to search for accurate
data
, you must look for the most convenient
source
.
For instance
, there are many people whose main
source
 of
data
 and
news
 is social media.
However
, you must be aware that many individuals use the internet to foster fake
news
 that aims to steal your personal
information
 as you get into their
websites
. The best
news
 journals have their official
websites
 available to all the citizens who are interested in a good
source
 of
data
.
However
, some of them charge you with a minimum cost to pay for their services. Alternatively, there are some free
websites
, but they are not as serious as the ones that have subscription fees.
As a result
, there are many options available to get access to high-quality
data
.
Nevertheless
, it is your responsibility to confirm what is the
source
 you are looking at to avoid fake
news
 and misinformation. In conclusion, the internet is a wonderful tool that you must use with caution
due to
 the risks that an open tool represents. It has good quality
information
as well as
 fake
websites
. Looking for official
websites
 and well-known journals is a good habit to avoid unreal
information
.
Submitted by otiyog on

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task achievement
Your essay would benefit from more specific examples to support your points. For instance, mentioning particular projects or studies by academic institutions could strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that all paragraphs transition smoothly to one another. Some sections feel a bit abrupt or disconnected without clear linkage.
general language
Pay attention to minor language inaccuracies, such as "trustfully data" which should be "trustworthy data." While these do not greatly affect the overall message, they can improve readability.
task achievement
Your response addresses the prompt fully and offers a comprehensive perspective on the given topic.
coherence cohesion
Both introduction and conclusion are clear and concise, helping to frame your argument effectively.
coherence cohesion
You have a strong logical structure overall, with points that are generally well-supported.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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