IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The chart below shows numbers of incidents and injuries per 100 million passenger miles travelled (PMT) by transportation type in 2002.

The chart below shows numbers of incidents and injuries per 100 million passenger miles travelled (PMT) by transportation type in 2002.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar graph below illustrates
comparison
Correct article usage
a comparison
show examples
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
number
Use synonyms
 of
incidents
Use synonyms
 and
injuries
Use synonyms
 each 100
million
Use synonyms
 travellers who commuted by different types of transportation in 2002.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 demand response saw the highest
number
Use synonyms
 of
incidents
Use synonyms
 and
injuries
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 that of commuter
rail
Use synonyms
 was the lowest in 2002. The figure for
incidents
Use synonyms
 in commuter
rail
Use synonyms
 was 20 per
million
Use synonyms
whereas
Linking Words
, that of demand response was higher at 225 per
million
Use synonyms
 PMT.
In addition
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
incidents
Use synonyms
 in light
rail
Use synonyms
 was equal to that of bus at 76 per
million
Use synonyms
 PMT.
Also
Linking Words
, in heavy
rail
Use synonyms
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
incidents
Use synonyms
 stood at 51 per
million
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 that of
injuries
Use synonyms
 was lower at 35. The most statistical
injuries
Use synonyms
 belonged to demand response 173 per
million
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, the figure for commuter
rail
Use synonyms
 was lower at 17. The
number
Use synonyms
 of
injuries
Use synonyms
 for bus and light
rail
Use synonyms
 was 66 and 39 per
million
Use synonyms
, respectively.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, incidents, injuries, million, rail with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 5 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: