Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, whilw others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Correct pronoun usage
Some
It
would Correct pronoun usage
Some
be argued
Wrong verb form
argue
Change preposition
apply
by
Change preposition
apply
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
some
that in order to succeed in life, Correct quantifier usage
apply
one
must have perseverance and a strong sense of purpose, while
others think that wealth and physical features are more worthwhile in achieving success. In my opinion, it takes a lot of hard work and will power
to be able to triumph in Correct your spelling
willpower
this
wicked world.
On one
hand, there are
Change the verb form
is
number
of reasons why some believe that working hard and having a strong desire and Change the article
a number
the number
vigor
in every work they do will lead to achieving their goals and aspirations in Change the spelling
vigour
this
life. One
reason is that,
not everyone Remove the comma
apply
was
fortunate enough to be able to acquire a degree in college that will help them land a job in the future, but with a strong desire and diligence, Wrong verb form
is
one
will most likely to
attain his target plan and purpose. Another reason is that, Fix the infinitive
apply
while
some may be gifted with pleasing outward behavior
, others are not. Jackie Chan, Change the spelling
behaviour
for instance
, does not possess the standard physical appearance of an actor but ended to be
a very successful and Change preposition
up being
best known
action-comedy star in Add a hyphen
best-known
hollywood
.
Other people might Change the capitalization
Hollywood
disgaree
and say that a person must have Correct your spelling
disagree
the
Correct article usage
a
physical
Change the word
physically
good looking
appearance in order to succeed in life. Add a hyphen
good-looking
Additionally
, some individuals believe that their success are results
of Fix the agreement mistake
result
them
having a great deal of money, resources, or assets in Correct pronoun usage
their
this
world.
In conclusion, although
some people think that having good looks and being rich most likely contribute to the accomplishments
of an aim or purpose, I personally believe that having Fix the agreement mistake
accomplishment
the
tenacity and diligence are the most important ones.Correct article usage
apply
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task achievement
Your essay provides a balanced discussion and both views are explored, but you should aim to develop each point more fully to deepen your argument. Adding more specific examples and fleshing out your ideas can enhance your response.
coherence cohesion
While the structure of your essay is logical, some transitions between ideas could be smoother. Working on linking phrases and creating seamless connections between your points will improve coherence.
coherence cohesion
You have provided a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This makes your essay easy to follow.
task achievement
Using an example like Jackie Chan is effective in illustrating your point and makes your argument more persuasive.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.