The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s live. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
There is no denying that
science
plays a vital role in human life
. In fact, I agree that science
should be to improve people
’s live
for two main reasons.
The first reason why Replace the word
lives
science
should be able to create better
Add an article
a better
life
is because it can ease human
in doing activities. To illustrate, many years ago before the discovery of Fix the agreement mistake
humans
internet
, Correct article usage
the internet
people
sent a letter if they wanted to exchange information with others. This
method was time-consuming and less effective. Today, people
can send a multiple information
within a minute or even a second by using their smartphones which are connected to the internet. Another example is that Remove the article
multiple information
a piece of multiple information
people
could save extra times
to travel around the world by using air transportation. Before the discovery of Fix the agreement mistake
time
plane
, Fix the agreement mistake
planes
people
could spend a couple of days to move
from one region to anotherChange the verb form
moving
one
.
The second argument is that scientific discoveries could heighten Correct pronoun usage
apply
life
rate. Several years back, COVID-19
pandemic spread around the world. The death rate showed a fantastic number at the beginning as there was no medicine for those who get infected. Correct article usage
the COVID-19
However
, the condition gradually improved after some vaccines, such
as Sinovac and AstraZeneca are
discovered. Wrong verb form
were
Although
it was found that there are number
of cases which took the Change the article
a number
the number
life
of patients, that was not primarily caused by the vaccines, but because they were not aware Fix the agreement mistake
lives
with
the rules that should not be avoided, Change preposition
of
such
as not taking enough rest after doing vaccination and consuming the pills given to mollify the side-effects.
In conclusion, science
could not only ease human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
for
doing activities but Change preposition
into
also
give better life
expectancy. Having considered the benefits, I have no doubt that science
does improve people
’s life
.Fix the agreement mistake
lives
Submitted by alfinkarimah008 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that transitions between paragraphs are smoother. Use more linking phrases to connect ideas and improve flow.
task achievement
Explain your points a bit more thoroughly, perhaps with more examples or detailed analysis.
task achievement
Review and correct minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing for clearer expression.
task achievement
The essay provides a clear response to the prompt and presents two main reasons supporting the viewpoint.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, and the main points are well-organized.
coherence cohesion
Examples provided are relevant and help to illustrate your points effectively.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS
Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!