Many teenagars today own a smartphone. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages

#teenagars #smartphone

Nowadays,

smartphone

Fix the agreement mistake

smartphones

show examples

becomes

Wrong verb form

have become

show examples

compulsory thing, as so many

youngster

Change to a plural noun

youngsters

show examples

already have

Correct pronoun usage

them it

show examples

it in

Correct your spelling

at an

show examples

early age. There are several advantages and disadvantages

from

Change preposition

show examples

this

issues

Fix the agreement mistake

issue

show examples

which I will elaborate

below

Change preposition

on below

show examples

. Regarding the advantages,

first,

just as it

suggest

Change the verb form

suggests

show examples

smartphone

Add an article

the smartphone

show examples

has become an advanced technology which contains functions that make our lives easier today.

Smartphone

Fix the agreement mistake

Smartphones

show examples

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

can be used to earn money without complicated requirements like formal

worker

Replace the word

work

show examples

which can be fulfilled by

teenagers

Furthermore

smartphone

Fix the agreement mistake

smartphones

show examples

support

teenagers

to have a wide

networking

Replace the word

network

show examples

not only

people

Change preposition

with people

show examples

in their surroundings but

also

overseas.

Finally

, smartphones provide a very wide range of information to access so that it supports

teenagers

to find out the

lastest

Correct your spelling

latest

show examples

news or subject matter not only from their school but

also

from various sources.

On the other hand

, we should not ignore the potential drawbacks that come with using

smartphone

Fix the agreement mistake

smartphones

show examples

Firstly

, It cannot be denied that smartphones can be dangerous if we are not careful in using them.

teenagers

who do not have a good understanding of the outside world can easily become victims of crimes that occur on social media.

Moreover

smartphone

Add an article

the smartphone

show examples

makes everything look faster, making it difficult for them to concentrate in school.

Lastly

, using

smartphone

Fix the agreement mistake

smartphones

show examples

make

Correct subject-verb agreement

makes

show examples

teenagers

addicted to it. They even can abandon their duties when they use their

smartphone

. In conclusion, the positive

that

Add a missing verb

is that

show examples

this

smartphone

improve

Change the verb form

improves

show examples

the quality of life of

teenagers

to be more productive. Meanwhile, smartphones can have

negative

Add an article

a negative

show examples

impact on

teenagers

Change noun form

teenagers'

teenager's

show examples

lives if they are not used

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

wisely.

Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on Fri Jun 21 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

To enhance your logical structure, ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next. Using transition words and phrases can help improve the flow of the essay.

task achievement

Try to incorporate more specific examples to support your main points. This will make your arguments stronger and more convincing.

task achievement

Work on developing your ideas more comprehensively. Ensure that each argument is fully explained and elaborated.

task achievement

Your essay addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of teenagers owning smartphones, providing a balanced view on the topic.

coherence cohesion

You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame your essay well.

coherence cohesion

Your points are relevant to the topic and you have a good range of ideas.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

250 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
Overpopulation of urban areas has led to numerous problems. Identify these problems and suggest ways through which governments and individuals can tackle these problems.
Nowadays, most countries facing overpopulation issues. A lot of people live in city areas than before therefore citizens face many problems. In this essay, I will address some problems and solutions for those matters.
5
band
WRITING TASK 2 You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words.
Nowadays, modern technology has become an essential part from our life. There is a debate about whether the modern technology plays a significant role in brining people together or is a main reason for isolation . In this essay, I am going to discus both point of views. In my opinion, a balanced using of technology is a brilliant solution to deal with this argument.
<4
band
Some people think that men and women have different qualitíe, therefore certain jobs are suitable for men and others for women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
some believe that there are disparities in the types of job compatible for males or females owing to their distinct physical and mental strengths. Personally, I completely disagree with this view. This essay will discuss my viewpoint with detailed reasons and relevant examples.
5
band
With the growing number of populations in cities. Many people are living in small home that don’t have outdoor spaces. Is this a positive or negative development?
Regarding the fact of overpopulation in developed cities, land for outdoor activities in small residential area is being cut. This can be a negative alteration for the society because people have to cope with the lack of relaxing atmosphere in their homes.
6
band
A city should try to preserve its old, historic buildings rather than replacing them with modern buildings.To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, there is a trend of constructing the new buildings in a lot of cities. Some people argue that a city should maintain traditional architectures rather than replacing them with modern ones. I agree to a certain extent with this view. While there may be some convincing reasons why municipal councils should keep traditional constructions, the reasons why they should replace them with modern ones are more significant.

Many teenagars today own a smartphone. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Overpopulation of urban areas has led to numerous problems. Identify these problems and suggest ways through which governments and individuals can tackle these problems.

Some people think that men and women have different qualitíe, therefore certain jobs are suitable for men and others for women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

With the growing number of populations in cities. Many people are living in small home that don’t have outdoor spaces. Is this a positive or negative development?

A city should try to preserve its old, historic buildings rather than replacing them with modern buildings.To what extent do you agree or disagree?