Many teenagars today own a smartphone. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages

#teenagars #smartphone

Nowadays,

smartphone

Fix the agreement mistake

smartphones

show examples

becomes

Wrong verb form

have become

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compulsory thing, as so many

youngster

Change to a plural noun

youngsters

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already have

Correct pronoun usage

them it

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it in

Correct your spelling

at an

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early age. There are several advantages and disadvantages

from

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show examples

this

issues

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issue

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which I will elaborate

below

Change preposition

on below

show examples

. Regarding the advantages,

first,

just as it

suggest

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suggests

show examples

smartphone

Add an article

the smartphone

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has become an advanced technology which contains functions that make our lives easier today.

Smartphone

Fix the agreement mistake

Smartphones

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that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

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can be used to earn money without complicated requirements like formal

worker

Replace the word

work

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which can be fulfilled by

teenagers

Furthermore

smartphone

Fix the agreement mistake

smartphones

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support

teenagers

to have a wide

networking

Replace the word

network

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not only

people

Change preposition

with people

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in their surroundings but

also

overseas.

Finally

, smartphones provide a very wide range of information to access so that it supports

teenagers

to find out the

lastest

Correct your spelling

latest

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news or subject matter not only from their school but

also

from various sources.

On the other hand

, we should not ignore the potential drawbacks that come with using

smartphone

Fix the agreement mistake

smartphones

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Firstly

, It cannot be denied that smartphones can be dangerous if we are not careful in using them.

teenagers

who do not have a good understanding of the outside world can easily become victims of crimes that occur on social media.

Moreover

smartphone

Add an article

the smartphone

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makes everything look faster, making it difficult for them to concentrate in school.

Lastly

, using

smartphone

Fix the agreement mistake

smartphones

show examples

make

Correct subject-verb agreement

makes

show examples

teenagers

addicted to it. They even can abandon their duties when they use their

smartphone

. In conclusion, the positive

that

Add a missing verb

is that

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this

smartphone

improve

Change the verb form

improves

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the quality of life of

teenagers

to be more productive. Meanwhile, smartphones can have

negative

Add an article

a negative

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impact on

teenagers

Change noun form

teenagers'

teenager's

show examples

lives if they are not used

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

wisely.

Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on Fri Jun 21 2024

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coherence cohesion

To enhance your logical structure, ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next. Using transition words and phrases can help improve the flow of the essay.

task achievement

Try to incorporate more specific examples to support your main points. This will make your arguments stronger and more convincing.

task achievement

Work on developing your ideas more comprehensively. Ensure that each argument is fully explained and elaborated.

task achievement

Your essay addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of teenagers owning smartphones, providing a balanced view on the topic.

coherence cohesion

You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame your essay well.

coherence cohesion

Your points are relevant to the topic and you have a good range of ideas.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

250 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many teenagars today own a smartphone. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In the future, nobody will buy printed newspaper or books because they will be able to read everything, they want online without paying. To what extent do you agree or diasagree with this statement?

Some people think that killing animals for food is cruel, but others claim that animals are a necessary part of the diet. What is your opinion?

write a letter t friend wants to senf his children to your house for weekend.write 1 agree to the arrangement 2.say what time is suitable 3decribe what ae you planning

You have just started a course in a college which has no sports facilities of its own.Write a letter to the manager of nearest private sports club.In your letter: Introduce yourself. Say why you are interested in this sports club. Ask some questions about the club e.g.facilities,members,costs.

Some people think that the government should subsidise fruit and vegetables to make healthy food more affordable. Others argue that the government should tax unhealthy food instead. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.