Recent years, the number of crimes committed by young people in major cities throughout the world is increasing. Discuss this issue. Give reasons and suggest some solutions.

#years #crimes #people #cities #world

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Lately, youngsters who commit criminalization have increased in big cities,

moreover

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, the world.

This

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essay will discuss more about

this

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as well as

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the two main reasons why

this

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could happen; careless and bad role model from their

parents

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Furthermore

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, solutions in the short term and long term are required to solve these problems. Logically, the number of criminalizations has increased

due to

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the careless behaviour of

parents

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nowadays. Kids did not have any examples and advice on which one is the

right

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thing to do

while

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criminal actions are out there.

This

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is because the

parents

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have no intention to educate the children and prevent logical fallacy.

For example

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, when

parents

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prefer not to pay any attention

while

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their child seizes his brother's toys.

This

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is the beginning of a sibling's dispute and makes them interpret it as something

right

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to fight for. Based on research, kids are the best imitators in the world,

therefore

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parents

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should teach themselves first before teaching anyone because their descendant will copy their attitudes.

For instance

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, if the

parents

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love to help people, more or less, their children will follow that behaviour and plant it in their minds forever.

On the contrary

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, if they educate them with bad behaviour, the offspring will carry out a bad thing in the future.

Thus

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, there are two solutions to

this

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issue.

First,

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for the short-term period solution, it is better to teach the offspring in school or in their house how to prevent logical fallacy in thinking

such

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as understanding a context, especially on which one is

right

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and which one is wrong based on a culture. Sometimes,

right

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and wrong do not always follow the regulation but it

also

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considers situations and traditions in an area.

Second,

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in the long term period, the government, specifically in the educational department and crime department, should play big responsible role in educating the youth, especially students, regarding the dangers and risks of criminalization. A possible example is that the responsible government created an interactive seminar for primary school and local kids communities and socialize on what could happen if they committed a crime. In summary, older people should play a big role in

this

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issue.

Although

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research has shown that they are the provocators of these problems, they

also

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should be responsible for educating to mitigate the number of criminalizations committed by children

as well as

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the risk.

Submitted by bram.admiral on Fri Jun 21 2024

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task achievement

Your essay addresses the task well and includes relevant reasons and solutions. However, it would benefit from more detailed examples to support your claims. For instance, you could mention specific parental behaviors that lead to criminal tendencies in youths.

task achievement

Be cautious with phrases like 'criminalization,' which might be better expressed as 'criminal behavior' or 'crimes.' Enhancing the precision of your vocabulary can make your argument clearer.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with a distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. To further improve, ensure each paragraph fully focuses on a single idea without blending multiple issues together.

coherence cohesion

Some sentences could benefit from clearer linking phrases to enhance the logical flow. For example, using phrases like 'Furthermore,' 'Moreover,' 'Therefore,' and 'Consequently' can help guide the reader more smoothly through your arguments.

introduction conclusion present

Your introduction sets the scene well by stating the problem and previewing the main arguments. This makes it clear what the essay will cover.

task achievement

You provide a good balance of short-term and long-term solutions, addressing the problem from multiple perspectives. This shows a thorough understanding of the issue.

coherence cohesion

The idea of parents acting as role models and the imitation behavior of children are well-linked and logically developed points.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

16
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

400 words

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Recent years, the number of crimes committed by young people in major cities throughout the world is increasing. Discuss this issue. Give reasons and suggest some solutions.

Word Count

Many governments think that economic progress is the most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Some people think that success in life comes from ard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Dicuss both views and give your opinion

Some people argue that if children behave badly, their parents should accept responsibility and also be punished for the behavior of their children. Do you agree or disagree with the statement?

There is an increase in the number of parents choosing educate their children themselves at home instead of sending them to schools. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?