It is the ultimate desire of all people to live in a wonderful society. What, from your point of view, are the main characteristics of such a society? Can individuals do anything to make it happen?

Throughout human history, it has been
one
of the main concerns of humanity to make a utopian
society
materialize, an attempt which has never achieved complete success. To serve
this
purpose, the criteria based on which a perfect
society
is defined should be clarified,
as well as
the role that every individual can play in
this
process. Every human
community
needs laws, to regulate the interaction between individuals and minimize the possibility of any conflict. The creation of laws naturally necessitates the establishment of an institution to implement laws, and punish any violation, what is most commonly referred to as the government. The first characteristic feature of an ideal
society
, in fact, lies here. Historical experience suggests that political power has always been associated with totalitarianism and corruption, so a perfect
society
is first characterized by a perfect government. Following a long period of trial and error, mankind has come to
this
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the
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conclusion that democracy is probably the most sensible way to rule a
society
,
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because it minimizes the probability of dictatorship.
This
is why an ideal
society
should have a responsible government selected by and accountable to every single citizen.
Although
class
divisions are unavoidable and necessary,
class
conflicts have never been desirable in
society
. A perfect human
community
is
the
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one
in which every single citizen reserves and exercises the right to grow and prosper, regardless of the social or economic
class
that they belong to, religion, political view or any other factor that might be the cause of discrimination. A
society
in which a privileged minority enjoys all facilities and possibilities in education and career can never be an ideal
one
. In fact,
class
differences are permitted as long as they are caused by the efforts of individuals to attain success, not
as a result
of external factors which are beyond
one
's control. So, a good human
community
can
also
be characterized by the even distribution of wealth among all citizens. Many sociologists hold the view that the process of enhancing a
society
always starts
from
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individuals. It is people who constitute a
community
so it would be naive to assume that a perfect
society
comes into existence without the participation of every single person. The most critical step towards
this
goal is to raise public awareness. The so-called utopia requires
the
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people who are aware of their rights and responsibilities, the conditions of their
community
and the world, and the course of action they should take to lead a better life. Every new book read by a citizen,
then
, is a positive step towards
this
perfect
society
.
Besides
, every member of a
community
should feel responsible for the ongoing affairs, and the way they can effectively participate in improving the situation. Helping a labour child to go to school,
for example
, can minimize the risk of that child turning to crime in adulthood, which makes us closer to the concept of an ideal
society
. In brief, I believe that living in a desirable
society
is similar to climbing
the
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Everest. It is a very ambitious goal indeed but it entails taking small, seemingly trivial, steps. We may never experience a city or country in which everything is perfectly acceptable, but we can get closer to
this
ideal provided that we perform our own role effectively.
Submitted by mortezashamsa on

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task achievement
In the introduction, directly state the characteristics you will discuss. This will provide clarity and set clear expectations.
coherence cohesion
Consider using more varied sentence structures to make the essay more engaging and fluent.
task achievement
Include more specific, real-world examples to strengthen your points. For example, mention specific countries or governments that exemplify democratic principles.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a well-bound structure to the discussion.
task achievement
The points about democracy and even distribution of wealth are well articulated and supported.
coherence cohesion
The logical flow between paragraphs is strong, ensuring that the essay reads smoothly.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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