Human activity has damaged the environment all around the world. Some people think that humans cannot stop damaging the planet where as other believe that we can alter our behaviour and prevent future damage. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

I wish I had learned English with you earlier than
this
time... you're the best channel to teach
English
Change the article
the English
show examples
language.Human activity has damaged the environment all around the world. Some people think that humans cannot stop damaging the planet
where as
Correct your spelling
whereas
show examples
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
believe that we can alter our behaviour and prevent future damage. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
Submitted by mohammedelhassan811 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion which helps in structuring your argument effectively. However, make sure your ideas flow more logically from one paragraph to the next.
task achievement
Make sure your main points are accompanied by relevant examples or evidence to strengthen your argument. This will also help you score better in the 'Task Achievement' criterion.
task achievement
Remember to fully develop your ideas and examples in detail, addressing all parts of the prompt comprehensively.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and well-presented, giving a good structure to your essay.
task achievement
You've made an effort to discuss both sides of the argument, which is essential in an IELTS essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: