The maps below show the center of a small town called Islip as it is now, and plans for its development

The maps below show the center of a small town called  Islip as it is now, and plans for its development
The maps illustrate the current and future plan of the Islip
town
.
Overall
,
due to
the new project the Islip
town
centre will be changed completely and undoubtedly, it will be a considerable development for the
town
. At first glance, it can be said that, in the recent situation the city consists of mainly roads and shops. There are not enough facilities for residents to be involved in recreational activities. Not only
this
, but
also
the road does not serve its purpose well not connecting the necessary parts of the
town
. It certainly, poses a problem for commuters, especially for students. In the second map, the new infrastructure of the settlement is given. The new architecture will change the capacity and practicality of Islip City.
Thus
, constructions including a bus station, shopping centre, car park, new housing and pedestrian cross will make inhabitants’ lives more joyful.
Moreover
, dual carriageways will not only reduce commuting time but
also
make the urban area more accessible. Despite the mentioned urban development, the park area in the south-east of the city is projected to be diminished.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words town with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "maps" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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