Many criminals reoffened after they have been punished. Why do some people contribute to commit crimes after they have been punished, and What measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

Nowadays,
crime
Correct article usage
the crime
show examples
ratio is
incresing
Correct your spelling
increasing
day by day,individual commits
Add an article
a crime
show examples
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
show examples
even after hard punishment.In
this
essay,I will discuss about reasons behind it and what solution should taken by
Add an article
the authority
show examples
authority
Fix the agreement mistake
authorities
show examples
. There are myriad
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
to become
culprit
Fix the agreement mistake
culprits
show examples
one
such
is people have
lower
Correct article usage
a lower
show examples
education level in
youg
Correct your spelling
young
falks
as a result
they
do
Verb problem
commit
show examples
horrible crimes repeatedly.
Moreover
,they are compelled to do criminal things by their
peer's
Change noun form
peer
show examples
pressure.
For instance
,
juvenile
Fix the agreement mistake
juveniles
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
more
common
Correct word choice
likely
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
wrongdoing as they get easily influenced and encouraged
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
delusions that whatever they are doing is good so ,they don't
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
regret
towards
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their mistakes.
In addition
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
, one could spread awareness towards children's rearing
under
Change preposition
in
show examples
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
environment and
foster
Verb problem
encourage
show examples
them to participate in social and spiritual activities.
Second
Correct article usage
The second
show examples
most common thing is people have become fearless
to
Change preposition
about
show examples
what they get
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
Correct your spelling
as
show examples
punishment.
As a result
,they do whatever they want
wether
Correct your spelling
whether
show examples
it is
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
good or
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
bad.
Lasty
Correct your spelling
Lastly
,individual have
became
Change the form of the verb
become
show examples
stubborn and do not feel guilty for
thier
Correct your spelling
their
crime
as a consequence
they do bad things that are cooking in their mind.To solve
this
trouble,strict action should taken against
criminal
Fix the agreement mistake
criminals
show examples
in order to spread fear in other's
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
.
For example
,in
Correct article usage
a metropolitian
show examples
metropolitian
Correct your spelling
metropolitan
city,there are proliferating cases of juvenile delinquency.For
this
,authorities should have rules and
who
Correct determiner usage
those who
show examples
breaks
Correct subject-verb agreement
break
show examples
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
rules will be punished by sewing.
To sum up
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
this
,there are manifold reoffended cases in our region to compensate
this
authority should have strict indictments against wrongdoers.
Submitted by jenny.15121996 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Writing Mechanics
Work on your grammar and spelling mistakes. Review the accurate use of punctuation and capitalization as well, to make your writing clearer.
Task Achievement
Although you have presented some reasons and solutions, try to provide more details and specific examples to make your arguments more convincing.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay would benefit from using better transition phrases to improve the flow between ideas. This would enhance the coherence and cohesion of your writing.
Task Achievement
You have correctly identified relevant points related to the topic, including reasons and solutions for reoffending.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, main body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!