Many criminals reoffened after they have been punished. Why do some people contribute to commit crimes after they have been punished, and What measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

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Nowadays,
crime
Correct article usage
the crime
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ratio is
incresing
Correct your spelling
increasing
day by day,individual commits
Add an article
a crime
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crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
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even after hard punishment.In
this
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essay,I will discuss about reasons behind it and what solution should taken by
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the authority
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authority
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authorities
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. There are myriad
reason
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reasons
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to become
culprit
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culprits
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one
such
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is people have
lower
Correct article usage
a lower
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education level in
youg
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young
falks
as a result
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they
do
Verb problem
commit
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horrible crimes repeatedly.
Moreover
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,they are compelled to do criminal things by their
peer's
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peer
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pressure.
For instance
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,
juvenile
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juveniles
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is
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are
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more
common
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likely
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for
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to
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wrongdoing as they get easily influenced and encouraged
in
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into
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delusions that whatever they are doing is good so ,they don't
have
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apply
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regret
towards
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apply
show examples
their mistakes.
In addition
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to
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apply
show examples
, one could spread awareness towards children's rearing
under
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in
show examples
better
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a better
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environment and
foster
Verb problem
encourage
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them to participate in social and spiritual activities.
Second
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The second
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most common thing is people have become fearless
to
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about
show examples
what they get
in
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apply
show examples
a
Correct your spelling
as
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punishment.
As a result
Linking Words
,they do whatever they want
wether
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whether
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it is
a
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apply
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good or
a
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apply
show examples
bad.
Lasty
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Lastly
,individual have
became
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become
show examples
stubborn and do not feel guilty for
thier
Correct your spelling
their
crime
as a consequence
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they do bad things that are cooking in their mind.To solve
this
Linking Words
trouble,strict action should taken against
criminal
Fix the agreement mistake
criminals
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in order to spread fear in other's
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
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.
For example
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,in
Correct article usage
a metropolitian
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metropolitian
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metropolitan
city,there are proliferating cases of juvenile delinquency.For
this
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,authorities should have rules and
who
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those who
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breaks
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break
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Linking Words
this
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these
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rules will be punished by sewing.
To sum up
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Correct pronoun usage
apply
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this
Linking Words
,there are manifold reoffended cases in our region to compensate
this
Linking Words
authority should have strict indictments against wrongdoers.
Submitted by jenny.15121996 on

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Writing Mechanics
Work on your grammar and spelling mistakes. Review the accurate use of punctuation and capitalization as well, to make your writing clearer.
Task Achievement
Although you have presented some reasons and solutions, try to provide more details and specific examples to make your arguments more convincing.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay would benefit from using better transition phrases to improve the flow between ideas. This would enhance the coherence and cohesion of your writing.
Task Achievement
You have correctly identified relevant points related to the topic, including reasons and solutions for reoffending.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, main body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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