IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

in many countries, owing a home rather than renting one is very important for people. do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

#countries #home #people #situation
Many today assume that having a
home
 is essential in today’s era.
Basing
Wrong verb form
Based
show examples
 on
this
 statement, the writer of
this
 essay
believe
Correct subject-verb agreement
believes
show examples
this
 position is a positive situation
due to
 the fact that it
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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not only
decrease
Correct subject-verb agreement
decreases
show examples
 the rate of
lacking
Replace the word
lack
show examples
 of accommodation
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 but
also
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
show examples
human’s
Change the noun form
humans
human
show examples
marry
Replace the word
marriage
show examples
 opportunities. One of the core reasons
as to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
why
owing
Correct your spelling
owning
show examples
 a
home
 is vital for every single person is it can resolve the issue of figuring out a resident. To be more specific, overpopulation is a challenging problem that many nations deal with; if most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
citizens
may
Verb problem
apply
show examples
buy for themselves a apartment, the pressure of
lacking
Replace the word
lack
show examples
 of accommodation
putted
Correct your spelling
put
show examples
 on
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 will be addressed efficiently.
That is
 to say, there are more options for inhabitants
can
Correct pronoun usage
who can
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 not find an abode;
therefore
, it will lead
the
Change preposition
to the
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 price of renting a house
declined
Verb problem
apply
show examples
.
In addition
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the argument that
owing
Correct your spelling
owning
show examples
 a
home
supporting
Wrong verb form
supports
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 people
look
Wrong verb form
looking
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 for their partner easily. In fact, the population over the world is having a trend
keeping
Change preposition
of keeping
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 away from getting
marry
Wrong verb form
married
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 if their lover can not have enough as their demand (
owing
Correct your spelling
owning
show examples
 a
home
, getting
well-paid
Correct article usage
a well-paid
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jod
Correct your spelling
job
).
For example
, almost
Chinese
Correct determiner usage
all Chinese
show examples
 males can not have a girlfriend if their
fiancial
Correct your spelling
financial
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 not decent. As a
consequences
Correct the article-noun agreement
consequence
show examples
, investing in
home
Add an article
the home
a home
show examples
 will bring
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
an owner enormous advantages
as well as
rise
Correct your spelling
raise
show examples
 their chance
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 moving into
romantic
Add an article
a romantic
show examples
 relationship. In conclusion,
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
tackling the
home
 crisis and contributing
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 developing
human’s
Change noun form
human
show examples
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
. It is
obivious
Correct your spelling
obvious
 to see that
owing
Correct your spelling
owning
show examples
 a
home
 plays a vital role in each
human-being
Correct your spelling
human being
show examples
lives
Fix the agreement mistake
life
show examples
.
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on

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task achievement
Ensure that your argument is well-developed and clearly presented. While you mentioned the pressure of overpopulation and the potential for decreased rental prices, these points could be elaborated for greater clarity and effectiveness.
task achievement
Work on improving sentence structure and grammar to enhance the clarity of your ideas. For example, revise sentences like 'the writer of this essay believe this position is a positive situation' to more grammatically correct phrases such as 'the writer of this essay believes this position is positive.'
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow of ideas within paragraphs. Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea that is supported by detailed evidence. This will help enhance coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to use transitional phrases between ideas and paragraphs to create a smooth flow. This will help guide the reader through your argument more effectively.
task achievement
The essay clearly addresses the question and takes a stance on the issue, fulfilling the basic requirement of task response.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear structure with an introduction and conclusion, which helps in organizing the essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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