It is important for everyone, including young people,

A group of individuals present a view that youngsters should save
money
for their
future
,
while
others believe that they should live in the present without worrying about the years to come. I strongly agree with the former opinion. On the one hand, some
people
justifiably argue that saving
money
is of great importance for everyone, especially the young generation. To elaborate, the main purpose of most
people
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
going to work is to earn enough
money
not only for their today but
also
for their
future
.
Money
is an integral part of our lives and plays a critical role in young
people
’s lives. To
more
Fix the agreement mistake
a greater
show examples
extent, every aspect of our lives is affected by
money
from buying food, a house, or a car to preparing our family with appropriate educational or healthcare facilities. The more
money
you have, the more convenient
life
you could have.
Moreover
, sometimes unexpected situations may happen in our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
that more
money
is needed to spend than our monthly income.
Therefore
, it is reasonable to put some amount of
money
aside for unexpected situations.
Last
but not least the young generation needs more
money
compared to the elderly to build their
life
,
for instance
,
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
buy a home or a car, or even hold a wedding party. So saving
money
shows its greater importance in these ages.
On the other hand
, another group of
people
claim that all
people
should live in the present time and just enjoy the moment. They insist that no one knows what the
future
holds so it is not worth
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
ruining our today because of an unknown
future
.
However
, I do not find it convincing as the great sense of relief that we can get from saving
money
guarantees our today’s happiness.
For example
, if my memory serves me well, it was about a couple of years ago that a serious problem
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
happened to
money
and I needed some
money
to tackle my problem, at that time I did not have enough
money
because I did not even think about saving
money
for my
future
, so I struggled a lot to prepare enough
money
and solve my problem. But If I had saved at least a little amount of
money
for rainy days, I would not have gotten into the trouble. To summarize,
while
people
may vary in their opinions about saving
money
, I think that nothing is wiser than saving
amount
Add an article
the amount
an amount
show examples
of
money
for purchasing necessary items for your everyday
life
and
also
for unpredicted situations in the
future
.
Moreover
, a great peace of mind from saving enough
money
could bring a lot of joy and comfort into your present
life
.
Submitted by zshahhosein on

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relevant specific examples
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supported main points
Although your essay is well-organized, review your paragraphs to ensure there is smooth transitioning and logical consistency between sentences within each paragraph.
complete response
You have clearly stated your opinion and supported it with relevant points.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your essay demonstrates clear and comprehensive ideas.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay is well-organized with a clear introduction and conclusion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • transnational problems
  • climate change
  • ozone layer depletion
  • pollution
  • collaborative efforts
  • pooling of resources
  • expertise
  • technology
  • innovative solutions
  • international standards
  • race to the bottom
  • environmental standards
  • capacity
  • impacts
  • national sovereignty
  • independently
  • economic
  • social contexts
  • international consensus
  • legal
  • political systems
  • enforcement
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