IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the reasons why people travel to work by bicycle or by car. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the reasons why people travel to work by bicycle or by car. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The pie charts illustrate the top five reasons
people
Use synonyms
 have said why they prefer to go to
work
Use synonyms
 by car or by bicycle.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 a large percentage of
people
Use synonyms
 acknowledge that they choose to go to
work
Use synonyms
 by bicycle because of their health and fitness, and
also
Linking Words
bicycles
Use synonyms
 have less pollution,
while
Linking Words
 the majority of
people
Use synonyms
 prefer to drive to
work
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of riding a bike because of the convenience they chose
cars
Use synonyms
 over
bicycles
Use synonyms
. 30% of
people
Use synonyms
 who ride a bicycle to go to
work
Use synonyms
 said they prefer
bicycles
Use synonyms
 because of their health and fitness, and the percentage for less pollution reasons is the same.
While
Linking Words
 40% of
people
Use synonyms
 who use
cars
Use synonyms
 to drive to
work
Use synonyms
 said they prefer
cars
Use synonyms
 because they are more comfortable, 21% of individuals said they chose vehicles because of the distance to
work
Use synonyms
. 13% of bike riders said
bicycles
Use synonyms
 are faster than
cars
Use synonyms
. Interestingly, a similar percentage of
people
Use synonyms
 acknowledged that
cars
Use synonyms
 are quicker than
bicycles
Use synonyms
. Other important reasons why
people
Use synonyms
 choose to ride
instead
Linking Words
 of bike are because
bicycles
Use synonyms
 are cheap and have no parking problems, which provide 13% and 15%, respectively. 14% of
people
Use synonyms
 use
cars
Use synonyms
 because they must carry things to
work
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 only 11% of drivers said they prefer
cars
Use synonyms
 because of their safety.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "instead, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, work, bicycles, cars with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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