Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree?

A huge number of
people
reckon that social media
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
a negative impact on our
society
.
This
essay
also
agrees with
this
due to
the fact that we are becoming more and more dependent on sites like Facebook or Instagram. The primary reason is connected with the idea that it is dangerous for health
use
Fix the infinitive
to use
show examples
gadgets on a daily basis, especially for
eyes
Correct article usage
the eyes
show examples
.
Also
, it can be harmful for
people
who spend a lot of time
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
searching for interesting information or chatting with
people
via social media.
For instance
, currently, numerous
people
suffer from
eye related
Add a hyphen
eye-related
show examples
diseases
such
as astigmatism, cataracts, dry eye
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
etc. What is more, they can not notice that their vision has deteriorated and they have to go to the hospital for treatment. The second reason is related to the fact that social networks have a profound impact on
people
. Children who use platforms
such
as Twitter, YouTube,
LinkedIn
Correct word choice
and LinkedIn
show examples
can be addicted
by
Change preposition
to
show examples
them. In the past children interacted and spent a lot of time with their families, and
also
went for a walk and played toys with friends.
However
, in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern day
Add a hyphen
modern-day
show examples
society
, they prefer
spend
Fix the infinitive
to spend
show examples
time
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
chatting via social networks 24/7.
Also
, they
only
Add a missing verb
are only
show examples
interested in posting numerous photos and videos
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Instagram
instead
of studying or
read
Wrong verb form
reading
show examples
news
Add an article
the news
show examples
. In conclusion, I consider social networking sites to be dangerous for our
society
due to
the fact that they have a negative influence on
people
. And I believe that our
society
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
supposed to stop using them on a regular basis.
Submitted by sofina.elena2014 on

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, consider using more varied transitions between paragraphs and ideas to guide the reader more smoothly from one point to the next.
task achievement
For a higher score in task achievement, provide more detailed explanations or examples to fully illustrate your points. For instance, you could elaborate more on how exactly children's interactions have changed due to social networking.
introduction conclusion present
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion.
supported main points
The main points are generally well-supported with examples and explanations, making the argument convincing.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • erosion
  • face-to-face
  • interactions
  • privacy concerns
  • data breaches
  • misinformation
  • polarize
  • cyberbullying
  • online harassment
  • procrastination
  • productivity
  • social isolation
  • dissemination
  • breeding ground
  • vast amounts
  • personal information
  • mental health
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