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Writing Samples
Band 5

The bar chart compares 7 various factories that utilize ground and public water supply in a country. Data are expressed in millions of cubic meters.

The bar chart compares 7 various factories that utilize ground and public water supply in a country. Data are expressed in millions of cubic meters.
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The present bar graph demonstrates seven diverse types of factories namely,
fuel
Use synonyms
, food or drink, machinery, metal, chemical, paper, and textiles which use ground and public
water
Use synonyms
 supply in a country per millions of cubic
meters
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, the main industry that needs a lot of
water
Use synonyms
 is Chemical companies' need
instead
Linking Words
 of
fuel
Use synonyms
 firms.
In addition
Linking Words
, Groundwater is a popular source.
According to
Linking Words
 the diagram for using
water
Use synonyms
, the first manufacture was chemicals which utilize 430
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
 of cubic
meters
Use synonyms
Ground
Correct your spelling
Groundwater
show examples
water
Use synonyms
 and 240 million cubic
meters
Use synonyms
 of Public supply. the second one is material that
ground
Correct your spelling
groundwater
show examples
water
Use synonyms
 uses is absolutely the same as chemicals Public supply, but the Public supply is 90 million cubic
meters
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. The third and fourth levels are food or drink and paper;
thereafter
Linking Words
, these have the same
water
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 using 190 million cubic
meters
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 in two different items. The chart shows machinery, textiles, and
fuel
Use synonyms
 respectively have minimum
water
Use synonyms
 use. For machinery public supply is the main resource;
however
Linking Words
, for textiles and
fuel
Use synonyms
 groundwater is really important.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words fuel, water, meters with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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