Some people feel that the private lives of celebrities should not be openly shared by the media. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is widely argued that the personal lives of the public
people
should not be invaded by the paparazzi. I firmly agree with
this
assertion
due to
the fact that
privacy
is considered a fundamental right of every individual and the detrimental effects on celebrities' mental
health
. A significant factor in supporting the
privacy
of popstars is to show some respect towards the basic personal autonomy of every person, including famous
people
.
This
is because every human deserves to enjoy the same
privacy
rights as any other person, regardless of their public status, political status, or financial status. Even if the published
such
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apply
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data is a tiny piece of information,
such
as a restaurant they went to, for the
pupose
Correct your spelling
purpose
of
restaurant's
Correct article usage
the restaurant's
show examples
advertisement.
Consequently
, without genuine
consents
Fix the agreement mistake
consent
show examples
given by the information's owners, any data resulting from an invasion of
privacy
should not be published candidly.
Furthermore
, excessive media scrutiny can create adverse effects on
the
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apply
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public figures' psychological
health
.
Although
some well-known
people
may expect a certain loss of
privacy
, especially the sensationalism of their private relationships, some may still face stress and anxiety.
For instance
, writing personal data
of
Change preposition
about
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an actress
on
Change preposition
in
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gossip columns or tabloid journalism may lead her to face criticism from the public.
Therefore
, private
lives
Fix the agreement mistake
life
show examples
interventions of the public
people
shall not be done to protect the mental
health
of celebrities. In conclusion, I strongly agree that the
privacy
of popular
people
should not be violated because the basic human right of everyone should be equally respected and to prevent the occurrence of mental
health
problems, especially internal tensions among celebrities.
Submitted by kaofangsuknual on

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coherence cohesion
Enhance the logical progression between paragraphs. While each paragraph addresses a distinct point, ensure they flow smoothly to reinforce your stance.
task achievement
Be sure to provide specific examples to support your points more effectively. Illustrative examples can help to clarify and strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
Watch for small grammatical errors and awkward phrasings. Proofreading your work can help catch issues like "public people" which should be "public figures" or "celebrities."
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and a well-rounded conclusion that effectively restates your position and main arguments.
task achievement
Your central arguments are clear and the main points are generally well-supported.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Invasion of privacy
  • Media scrutiny
  • Public persona
  • Personal autonomy
  • Sensationalism
  • Paparazzi
  • Tabloid journalism
  • Right to privacy
  • Mental well-being
  • Public interest
  • Ethical journalism
  • Celebrity culture
  • Gossip columns
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