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Writing Samples
Band 6

The chart below gives information about birth and death rates in Switzerland from 1970 to 2020 according to UN statistics. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below gives information about birth and death rates in Switzerland from 1970 to 2020 according to UN statistics. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #birth #death #rates #switzerland #statistics #summarise #features #comparisons
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The given chart
illustrate
Change the verb form
illustrates
show examples
 information about
birth
Use synonyms
 and
death
Use synonyms
rates
Use synonyms
 in Switzerland from 1970 to 2020
according to
Linking Words
 UN statistics,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the
birth
Use synonyms
rates
Use synonyms
 in Switzerland have increased dramatically from one decade to another.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the
death
Use synonyms
rates
Use synonyms
 are gradually decreasing
due to
Linking Words
 the well-developed health sciences in the world,
However
Linking Words
, the number of deaths
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 still high,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 means that the
department
Capitalize word
Department
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 of
health
Capitalize word
Health
show examples
 will have to set a target to lower the amount of
Use synonyms
death
Fix the agreement mistake
deaths
show examples
 in the country,
for instance
Linking Words
, abolish some hazardous products the affect negatively on the body health of people. During the decades of 2005-2025, the number of
Use synonyms
birth
Fix the agreement mistake
births
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 bounced at a high rate.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
birth
Use synonyms
rates
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 are increasing in a significant shape
whereas
Linking Words
death
Use synonyms
rates
Use synonyms
 are getting lower from one period to another.
Submitted by yazanalt523 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 82%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words birth, death, rates with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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