Some experts believe that when a country is already rich, any additional increase in economic wealth does not make its citizens any more satisfied. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Some individuals are of the opinion that in a
country
which is already wealthy, the citizens would not even feel happy Use synonyms
although
the economy develops rapidly. From my standpoint, Linking Words
this
statement is strongly disagreeable. Linking Words
This
essay will expound upon Linking Words
this
by giving compelling reasons and practical examples.
Linking Words
Firstly
, citizens living in wealthy countries could gain benefits from Linking Words
high-quality
education. Specifically,in a Add an article
a high-quality
country
that has an unstoppable rise in development, education could be enhanced, meaning that children would be instructed the lesson of the value of Use synonyms
money
. Use synonyms
Thus
, they would appreciate their earned Linking Words
money
when they have grown. In the case of Dubai is relevant here where has the highest number of wealthy people; Use synonyms
furthermore
, in spite of significant growth in the Linking Words
country
's development, that Use synonyms
country
still keeps the record of people who spend Use synonyms
money
indeed carefully.
Use synonyms
Secondly
, it is undeniable that economic growth is a decisive element. To be more precise, the growth of the economy supports workers not only Linking Words
having
higher wages but Change preposition
by having
also
access Linking Words
lucrative
career opportunities. Change preposition
to lucrative
As a result
, they could pay the cost of living more easily than the previous time Linking Words
as well as
live more comfortably; Linking Words
therefore
, there Linking Words
are
no Correct subject-verb agreement
is
reasons
Fix the agreement mistake
reason
that
citizens would have no positive reactions. Correct word choice
why
For instance
, in Linking Words
any
rich countries, workers always feel jealous of other co-workers in relation to collaborators' higher salaries, thanks to Correct quantifier usage
apply
this
situation, they may have more motivation to invest more effort in their work, and satisfyingly Linking Words
spending
that earned Replace the word
spend
money
to provide their relatives Use synonyms
such
as their family to live without unaffordability.
In conclusion, though I think others have their own understandable arguments, I firmly disagree with Linking Words
this
way of thinking Linking Words
due to
easily paying the cost of living, and advanced education could instruct them to appreciate their earned Linking Words
money
. All of those listed elements, Use synonyms
it
definitely Correct pronoun usage
apply
makes
them feel better.Correct subject-verb agreement
make
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task achievement
The essay is well-structured but ensure to link the ideas in the body paragraphs more explicitly, addressing the prompt throughout. Also, avoid generalizations that can weaken your argument, such as 'workers always feel jealous.'
task achievement
Improve the clarity of some sentences by focusing on the structure. For example, 'the growth of the economy supports workers not only having higher wages but also access lucrative career opportunities' could be clearer with slight adjustments.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph should start with a clear topic sentence that directly relates to the prompt and clearly introduces the main point of the paragraph. This can help guide readers through your argument more effectively.
task achievement
You have presented your argument clearly and have provided relevant examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, helping to frame your argument well.