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Childhood obesity is becoming a serious problem in many countries. What are the causes of this problem, and what measures can be taken to solve it?

#childhood #obesity #countries #measures
Obesity
 is a major problem in many countries which usually
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
 to dangerous diseases,
such
 as heart attack and hypertension. Even though most of the
obesity
 cases happened to
adult
Fix the agreement mistake
adults
show examples
, the number of
children
 who experience
obesity
 is increasing across nations.
This
 essay will discuss the potential causes of
this
 problem and propose solutions to overcome it. Juniors in many countries experience
obesity
due to
 two main causes, the lack of awareness
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
obesity
 and unhealthy foods & beverages served to them.
First,
parents
, who are
children
's first
teacher
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teachers
show examples
, do not educate their
child
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children
show examples
 about healthy
lifestyle
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lifestyles
show examples
for
Correct word choice
so
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them
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 to avoid
obesity
.
Obesity
 topics, which are very crucial to all ages,
only
Add a missing verb
are only
show examples
 socialized to adults.
For example
 in Indonesia,
children
 are told by their
parents
 to consume a lot of foods for them to grow bigger.
On the other hand
,
adolescent
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adolescents
show examples
 love junk foods and candies, which are not healthy
due to
 the high content of sugar in
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
For instance
, ready-to-consume beverages, which
sold
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are sold
show examples
 using
booth
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booths
show examples
 around the school, probably have more than 50% sugar in
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 ingredients. Involvement from multiple parties,
such
 as
parents
, teachers, and
food
 & beverage producers,
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 important to solve
this
 issue. As a first step, socializations pertaining
obesity
Change preposition
to obesity
show examples
 and its impact
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 childhood need to be conducted more regularly.
For example
,
obesity
socializations
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socialization
show examples
 with game
theme
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themes
show examples
 and rewards if they can maintain a healthy lifestyle, which will attract
adolescent
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adolescents
show examples
, can be facilitated by
parents
 and teachers in their schools.
Furthermore
, it is encouraged for
fast
Add an article
a fast
show examples
food
 manufacturer to perform thorough research & development activities in order to improve the healthiness of their products.
Although
 the investments will be huge at the beginning,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 will help
children
 to have
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
 quality of life in the future.
For example
,
food
 producers can
subtitute
Correct your spelling
substitute
 sugar with other more healthy ingredients,
such
 as natural fruit extracts, without changing the taste of their products. In conclusion, the main reasons childhood
obesity
happened
Wrong verb form
happens
show examples
 in many countries are
due to
 the lack of
obesity
 awareness provided to juniors and unhealthy ingredients that
added
Add a missing verb
are added
show examples
 to their daily
consumptions
Fix the agreement mistake
consumption
show examples
. To overcome
this
 issue, more
socializations
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socialization
show examples
 related to
obesity
 for
children
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 required, followed by the improvement of their
consumptions
Fix the agreement mistake
consumption
show examples
 that could be done through research and development by
food
 manufacturers.
Submitted by rizkyy.utama22 on

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General
Make sure to proofread for grammatical errors and improve syntax to enhance readability. Additionally, consider elaborating further on the solutions and their potential impacts.
Coherence and Cohesion
In the body paragraphs, ensure that each point is clearly distinguished and developed thoroughly to enhance cohesion.
Task Achievement
The essay provides a complete and well-rounded response to the prompt, addressing both causes and solutions effectively.
Task Achievement
The points are supported with relevant examples, making the argument more compelling.
Coherence and Cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is clear, making it easy to follow the writer's train of thought.
Introduction and Conclusion
The introduction and conclusion effectively frame the discussion, creating a cohesive piece.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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