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Band 3.5

Some argue that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should perform in the place where they accomplished their training, while others think that they should be allowed to work freely where they want. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#argue #professionals #doctors #engineers #place #work
Some people think that scholars should work in the locations where they used to be trained. Others,
however
, argue that it is their right to decide their workspaces.
While
 staying in the original
instituation
Correct your spelling
institution
 can be a safe choice with some advantages, I believe that there are a variety of opportunities if they step out of their comfort zone independently. On the one hand, continuing
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 career in the place where they studied is beneficial in some fields, especially
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
networking because it is always easier to work with acquaintances.
For instance
, the time for finishing a paper will be decreased considerably
due to
 no extra time needed for understanding
teamates
Correct your spelling
teammates
 required like
a teams
Correct the article-noun agreement
teams
a team
show examples
 including all strangers. Turning to the other side of the argument, having a job outside the school
instutions
Correct your spelling
institutions
 gives experts chances to expand their career path.
Although
 it is hard to change the environment at the
begining
Correct your spelling
beginning
, the higher salary, and the exposure to new people
worth
Correct pronoun usage
worth it
show examples
.
This
 can be exemplified by some IT professionals in my university leaving their
laboratorys
Correct your spelling
laboratories
laboratory
 to become the core members of big tech companies.
To sum up
,
although
 going to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 new environment can be risky for some scholars
initially
, it brings them enormous positive changes, which is, in my opinion,
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
better than just researching in the same place from their student time.
Submitted by 22028151 on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which contribute to a cohesive structure. Make sure each paragraph has a clear, focused argument to enhance coherence.
task achievement
Clarify and strengthen your main points by providing more specific and diverse examples. This will make your arguments more compelling and show a deeper understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Watch out for minor grammatical errors and typos, such as "institution," "beginning," and "teammates." Correcting these will improve your writing fluidity and professionalism.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction sets up the debate very well by presenting both views clearly and establishing your stance.
task achievement
The use of the IT professionals' example is effective and relevant; it helps to illustrate your point about stepping out of comfort zones.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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