IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Online classes make conventional classrooms unnecessary. To what extent do you agree/disagree?

E-learning has been a topic of interest for a long period of time
especialy
Correct your spelling
especially
 after the experience of Covid-19 pandemic in the world. Some people believe that the presence of online classes will potentially make the physical
classroom
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 become redundant.
While
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 there is no denying the benefits of virtual learning,
however
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, I believe that being taught
face to face
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face-to-face
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 is
compleately irreplacable
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completely irreplaceable
. On the one hand, remote studying is beneficial for many compelling reasons.
First,
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it provides both
students
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 and teachers
a
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with a
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means of communication
that is
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 more
convinient
Correct your spelling
convenient
.
Due to
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 the fact that most households now are provided with
internet
Add an article
an internet
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 connection, which means that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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access to online classes will be broadened to more people.
Second,
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parents might not have time to take their
childrens
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children
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 to a physical
class
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,
therefore
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, e-learning will be suitable. Parents can do an online register
for
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apply
show examples
their children
to
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for
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 an online
class
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, under
observation
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the observation
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 of teachers through
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a computer’s
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computer’s
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computer
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 screen but still ensure the amount of knowledge that
students
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 should acquire.
On the other hand
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, it is inevitable that the importance of
traditional
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the traditional
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classroom
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 has never been rejected, since it brings about more interactions that could increase the quality of a lesson.
For example
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, subjects that
required
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require
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practices
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practice
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, especially those that should be done under
teacher’s
Correct article usage
the teacher’s
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 observation
such
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 as science, chemistry, … will be taught more effectively
at
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in
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 classes.
This
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 is because
in
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, in
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 a traditional
class
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,
students
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 understand the topic by
practicing
Change the spelling
practising
show examples
 rather than learning through books or slides.
Moreover
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, the dynamic of
Use synonyms
classroom
Add an article
the classroom
a classroom
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 will help
students
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to
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apply
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foster their soft skills through teamwork,
discussions
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and discussions
show examples
 with teachers and fellows, …
that
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which
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 are rarely seen in an online
class
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. In conclusion,
although
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 online learning has
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
 in terms of
Correct your spelling
convenience
convinience
Correct your spelling
convenience
,
however
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,
traditional
Add an article
the traditional
show examples
classroom
Use synonyms
 will never be replaced as it provides more advantages rather than just learning

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grammar
Ensure consistent use of tenses and correct minor grammatical errors, such as 'their childrens' to 'their children.'
content
Use more specific examples to support your points. This will enhance the relevance and clarity of your arguments.
structure
Conclude strongly by summarizing key points clearly. The current conclusion is a bit abrupt and lacks a strong final statement.
structure
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, and each paragraph centers around a distinct main idea.
content
The ideas are logically sequenced and easy to follow.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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