Some people say that parents have the most important role in child’s development. However, others argue that other things like television or friends have the most significant influence. Discuss both of view and give your opinion.
Currently, there is a prevailing belief that
parents
play a pivotal role in shaping a child's development as they grow older. However
, an opposing viewpoint exists, suggesting that external factors such
as television and friends exert a more profound influence
. This
essay will examine both perspectives and present my own opinion.
To begin
with, the majority of children
are raised under the influence
of their parents
. Children
often look up to their parents
and tend to emulate their behaviours rather than form individual opinions. Furthermore
, children
are naturally inclined to seek guidance and inspiration from older individuals. While
parents
may not actively teach their children
positive habits, their presence and actions hold significant importance. For instance
, a study revealed that a significant percentage of students in developed countries responded positively to their parents
' affection.
On the other hand
, in many developing nations, modern technology such
as television and peer relationships heavily impact children
. These influences sometimes lead to negative outcomes, as some children
may resist parental guidance when it conflicts with the influence
of technology or friends. For example
, exposure to crime-related content on television can result in children
becoming more familiar with legal concepts, which may not align with their parents
' values or expectations.
In conclusion, while
some argue that parental role modeling
plays a crucial part in a child's development Change the spelling
modelling
due to
the inherent influence
of parents
as role models, others contend that advancements in technology have led to a shift in influence
towards external sources. I believe that the extent of influence
, whether from parents
or external factors, largely depends on the individual's environment and the values instilled within that environmentSubmitted by omondavlat91 on
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task achievement
The essay provides a balanced discussion of both views but can enhance the depth of analysis. Including more specific examples and elaborating on them will strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, consider using clear topic sentences for each paragraph to guide the reader. Additionally, smoother transitions between ideas and sections can make the essay flow more fluidly.
task achievement
The essay effectively introduces both viewpoints and presents a clear opinion in the conclusion, which is a strong aspect of task achievement.
coherence cohesion
The overall structure of the essay is logical, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs discussing both views, and a conclusion. This showcases good organizational skills.
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