In many countries, people now wear western clothes such as suits and jeans rather than traditional clothing. Why is this the case? Is this a positive or negative development?
In
this
westernization, many nations’ citizens are interested in choosing modern Linking Words
dress
codes like jeans and suits Use synonyms
also
their curiosity is declining in their cultural costumes. The main reason behind Linking Words
on
Change preposition
apply
this
is Linking Words
Add an article
a technology
technology
development and Replace the word
technological
people
are becoming more literate. In my point of view, Use synonyms
this
development will give a positive result.
Linking Words
Initially
, technology has increased sky level, Linking Words
this
has resulted in Linking Words
people
getting easy access to communication through smartphones and Use synonyms
internet
. Correct article usage
the internet
Hence
, they are keen to know foreign cultures and Linking Words
endeavouring
to imitate that culture. Wrong verb form
endeavour
In addition
, the effect of globalization, most of the foreign nation’s commodities are available in another Linking Words
along with
affordable rates and Linking Words
this
can easily enthral the Linking Words
people
to procure. Use synonyms
Thus
, all nations’ citizens are interested in purchasing foreign garments. To illustrate, in my country, most of the commodities are imported from China and their clothes are triggered Linking Words
our
nation’s citizens to purchase.
Change preposition
by our
Moreover
, Linking Words
this
trend will motivate Linking Words
people
in a positive direction. Use synonyms
However
, adhering to the Western cloth culture, their own heritage cloth styles will not disappear. Because, the traditional Linking Words
dress
code has come from their ancestors, Use synonyms
so
merely imitating Correct word choice
apply
Western
Correct article usage
the Western
dress
code, their own traditional Use synonyms
dress
habits will never change. Use synonyms
Also
, Linking Words
people
will start to adhere to Use synonyms
an abroad
Correct word choice
foreign
dress
styles, their country’s economy will soar, Use synonyms
also
import and export commodities will get a boost.
Linking Words
To conclude
, technological development and more literacy will trigger Linking Words
people
to imitate other Use synonyms
nations
Change noun form
nations'
nation's
dress
codes. Whilst, Use synonyms
people
will never forget their ancestor Use synonyms
dress
style, because the traditional clothing system is their identity. Use synonyms
Whereas
, countries economy will possible to increase by western garments.Linking Words
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coherence cohesion
Work on ensuring a smoother flow of ideas within and between paragraphs. Use cohesive devices more effectively.
task achievement
Provide more detailed and varied examples to support your points. This will make your arguments stronger and more convincing.
task achievement
Clarify some of your points further for better comprehension. Occasionally, the ideas presented can seem a bit vague or underdeveloped.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion.
task achievement
The main points are relevant to the topic and generally well-supported with explanations.
task achievement
The essay addresses both parts of the task thoroughly, offering explanations for why people adopt western clothing and discussing the positive aspects of this trend.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example