Few people devote time to hobbies nowadays. Say why you think this is the case and what effect this has on the individual and society in general. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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this

Linking Words

modernized universe technology is growing hike daily and

people

Use synonyms

are having more stress in their

carrier

Correct your spelling

careers

show examples

to avoid that fewer individuals are spending

time

Use synonyms

for entertainment during their leisure

time

Use synonyms

According to

Linking Words

my point of view,

this

Linking Words

will help

people

Use synonyms

to enhance their life individually, professionally and socially. For individual

point

Fix the agreement mistake

points

show examples

, at present

ambience

Add a comma

ambience,

show examples

people

Use synonyms

have more depression, because of their job. Nowadays all

country

Correct article usage

the country

show examples

people

Use synonyms

are spending too much

time

Use synonyms

for

Change preposition

show examples

job

Add an article

the job

a job

show examples

due to

Linking Words

that they do not have adequate

time

Use synonyms

to spend

his

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

family,

thus

Linking Words

Change preposition

for

show examples

this

Linking Words

reason their minds have become tired and mentally they are more suffering. To

avoiding

Change the form of the verb

avoid

show examples

this

Linking Words

, they have to spend some

time

Use synonyms

for entertainment

activity

Fix the agreement mistake

activities

show examples

, during the leisure period,

then

Linking Words

only health and mind will come into normal position. Professionally, all companies

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

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working

time

Use synonyms

schedules are hectic, they make work

time

Use synonyms

duration minimum

Change preposition

of 12

show examples

to 14 hours per day,

this

Linking Words

may create a serious implication for the employees, so everyone working maximum hours,

this

Linking Words

will ruin their health and mind, to avoiding

this

Linking Words

impact employees must do some physical activities, during the holidays.

For instance

Linking Words

, all organizations in China are giving more work burden to their

staffs

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staff

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, to avoid that they are doing cycling, meditation and some exercise during their free

time

Use synonyms

. Socially,

people

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should spend some

time

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on outdoor

activity

Fix the agreement mistake

activities

show examples

like walking, public

gathering

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gatherings

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and laughing

exercise

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exercises

show examples

Linking Words

this type

Fix the agreement mistake

these types

show examples

of hobbies will connect

people

Use synonyms

and create solidarity

Change preposition

show examples

Linking Words

this

Correct determiner usage

apply

show examples

society. The Government must organize special campaigns and advertisements to the public about hobbies and it’s beneficial.

To sum up

Linking Words

, of

this

Linking Words

statement

Add a comma

statement,

show examples

people

Use synonyms

must spend some

time

Use synonyms

on hobbies,

then

Linking Words

only

mind

Correct pronoun usage

their mind

show examples

and health will be good position not only games,

other

Correct word choice

but other

show examples

activities like exercise and music

this

Linking Words

can

also

Linking Words

reduce their stress and depression.

smsundaram57Sat Jun 22 2024

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complete response

Try to elaborate more on how modern technology specifically reduces the time available for hobbies.

complete response

Clarify how professional stress directly impacts the ability to engage in hobbies.

logical structure

Use linking words and phrases more effectively to improve the overall logical flow of the argument.

single idea per paragraph

Ensure that each paragraph is focused on a single, clear idea for better coherence.

greeting and closing

The essay's structure, including an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, is clear.

suitable writing tone

The tone of the essay is generally appropriate for a formal discussion on the topic.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

297 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Devote time
Hobbies
Nowadays
Busy
Fast-paced
Lifestyles
Work and career
Technology
Digital entertainment
Limited
Free time
Lack of motivation
Mental wellbeing
Physical wellbeing
Decreased
Social interactions
Creativity
Self-expression
Negative effects
Society

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Few people devote time to hobbies nowadays. Say why you think this is the case and what effect this has on the individual and society in general. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some people believe the purpose of education is to make people useful to society. Others believe it is to prepare them to achieve their ambitions. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual well-being. What factors contribute to job satisfaction? How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers?

Some parents believe that they should protect their children from doing any mistakes while others believe they should make mistakes freely. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Directors and managers of organizations are often older people. Some people say that it is better for younger people to be leaders. To what extent do you agree or disagree?