IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The following diagram shows how greenhouse gases trap energy from the Sun.

The following diagram shows how greenhouse gases trap energy from the Sun.
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The diagram illustrates how some of the Sun’s
energy
Use synonyms
 is trapped in the
atmosphere
Use synonyms
 by greenhouse gases.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 CO2 is released to the
atmosphere
Use synonyms
 by human intervention and that most of the Sun’s
energy
Use synonyms
 managed to leave the planet.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, not all of the Sun’s
energy
Use synonyms
 enters the Earth’s
atmosphere
Use synonyms
, some of it is reflected by the
atmosphere
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.
Rest
Correct article usage
The rest
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 of the rays
enters
Change the verb form
enter
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 the
atmosphere
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 and
heats
Correct subject-verb agreement
heat
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 the Earth’s surface, after which some of them are reflected into space and some of them back into the
atmosphere
Use synonyms
. Greenhouse gases,
such
Linking Words
 as carbon dioxide are emitted into the air by human activities. Chopping down
of
Change preposition
apply
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trees
release
Correct subject-verb agreement
releases
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 the CO2 that had been stored in them. Fumes produced by vehicles, namely trucks, cars, and ships, contribute to the carbon dioxide emission.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, these gases capture the remaining
energy
Use synonyms
 that had been reflected by the Earth’s surface leading to a substantial increase of the atmospheric temperature.

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, atmosphere with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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