People living in the 21st century are enjoying better quality of life compared to people who lived in the previous century. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

People in the present
century
are privileged with a better standard of living compared to the previous
century
. I completely agree with
this
statement because the advancements in medicine and the widespread use of the internet have made our lives more convenient.
To begin
with, today's medicines have more capabilities than those of the 20th
century
because of technological advancements in medical science. It is well known that the field of medicine is ever-growing, which means more patients are being cured of illnesses that were previously known to be incurable.
For example
, during the 1900s, the mortality of patients who had undergone surgeries was nearly 40%, but now it has decreased to less than 2%.
This
is because of
state-of-the art
Add a hyphen
state-of-the-art
show examples
instruments and medicinal agents.
Additionally
, the use of the internet has made our lives easy, making many things
assessable
Correct your spelling
accessible
show examples
.
That is
to say, people do not have to stress about obtaining what they need.
For instance
, when someone decides to buy a product, they can order it using many online platforms;
however
,
this
was not the case 24 years ago, when purchasing items would have been extremely difficult because they had to put in more effort in searching for them. Now,
however
, it is a matter of clicks to get the desired products. In conclusion, I believe that people in the 21st
century
are living lives that are better than those of individuals in the 20th
century
because of better medical treatments and the convenience of the internet.
Submitted by sajeendranrajakumar on

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task achievement
Ensure that every point made in the essay is fully explained and supported with examples. For instance, add more detail on how state-of-the-art instruments and medicinal agents have improved medical practices.
task achievement
Try to elaborate more on your second main point regarding how the internet has made life easier. Providing additional specific examples could strengthen this point.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the transitions between paragraphs to enhance the coherence and cohesion of your essay. Using linking words and phrases can help ideas flow more smoothly.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt clearly and provides a direct answer to the question, demonstrating a strong task response.
coherence cohesion
Both the introduction and conclusion are well-structured and clearly articulate your position on the topic, which enhances the coherence of your essay.
task achievement
You have provided specific examples, particularly in the discussion about advancements in medicine, which strengthens your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

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    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
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