Having more money and less time is better than earning less money and having more time Discuss both the view points and state your opinion
In
this
modern era, money
has become an essential need for individuals
. Therefore
, many people
tend to think that having incredible monetary wealth instead
of time
is better, but I believe that time
is more important than money
. In this
essay, I will discuss both viewpoints and justify my inclination in the ensuing paragraphs.
On the one hand, with a sufficient amount of money
, people
are able to live their dream lives and pursue whatever they want. They never have to compromise on luxury. For instance
, people
who have lots of money
can secure their medical emergencies and support their family and friends financially because, in today's world, necessary things have become more expensive than in the past. Hence
, without money
, individuals
cannot survive, making money
more beneficial nowadays.
On the other hand
, having less money
is better than having less time
. Today's generation is blindly running after money
and often neglects their mental peace and happiness. As a result
, many people
suffer from various mental health issues. Moreover
, with sufficient time
, individuals
can focus on self-improvement. For instance
, a person who has enough time
can maintain relationships with family and friends because money
can never buy relationships and time
.
In conclusion, while
money
is essential to survive in today's world, it is also
crucial for people
to have enough time
for themselves. I completely agree that individuals
can live happier lives with less money
but more time
, which they can use to enhance their well-being and quality of life.Submitted by rohanshingala7781 on
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coherence cohesion
While your essay is well-structured and easy to follow, it is important to elaborate more on your main points. Provide additional arguments and examples to strengthen your essay and support your viewpoint more comprehensively.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph contains a clear topic sentence and develops a single idea thoroughly. This will improve the coherence and flow of your essay, making your arguments more compelling.
task achievement
While your essay answers the prompt effectively and expresses a clear opinion, make sure to address counterarguments more thoroughly. This can provide a more balanced view and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Include more specific and varied examples to support your arguments. This will not only enhance the clarity of your ideas but also make your essay more persuasive.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction effectively sets up the essay and clearly states your opinion. This provides a solid foundation for the discussion that follows.
introduction conclusion present
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reiterates your stance on the topic. This provides a strong ending to your essay and reinforces your argument.
logical structure
The essay is logically structured with clear and distinct paragraphs. Each paragraph addresses a specific aspect of the topic, contributing to the overall coherence and readability.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
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