Having more money and less time is better than earning less money and having more time Discuss both the view points and state your opinion

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In
this
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modern era,
money
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has become an essential need for
individuals
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.
Therefore
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, many
people
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tend to think that having incredible monetary wealth
instead
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of
time
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is better, but I believe that
time
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is more important than
money
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. In
this
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essay, I will discuss both viewpoints and justify my inclination in the ensuing paragraphs. On the one hand, with a sufficient amount of
money
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,
people
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are able to live their dream lives and pursue whatever they want. They never have to compromise on luxury.
For instance
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,
people
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who have lots of
money
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can secure their medical emergencies and support their family and friends financially because, in today's world, necessary things have become more expensive than in the past.
Hence
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, without
money
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,
individuals
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cannot survive, making
money
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more beneficial nowadays.
On the other hand
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, having less
money
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is better than having less
time
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. Today's generation is blindly running after
money
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and often neglects their mental peace and happiness.
As a result
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, many
people
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suffer from various mental health issues.
Moreover
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, with sufficient
time
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,
individuals
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can focus on self-improvement.
For instance
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, a person who has enough
time
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can maintain relationships with family and friends because
money
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can never buy relationships and
time
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. In conclusion,
while
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money
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is essential to survive in today's world, it is
also
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crucial for
people
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to have enough
time
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for themselves. I completely agree that
individuals
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can live happier lives with less
money
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but more
time
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, which they can use to enhance their well-being and quality of life.
Submitted by rohanshingala7781 on

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coherence cohesion
While your essay is well-structured and easy to follow, it is important to elaborate more on your main points. Provide additional arguments and examples to strengthen your essay and support your viewpoint more comprehensively.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph contains a clear topic sentence and develops a single idea thoroughly. This will improve the coherence and flow of your essay, making your arguments more compelling.
task achievement
While your essay answers the prompt effectively and expresses a clear opinion, make sure to address counterarguments more thoroughly. This can provide a more balanced view and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Include more specific and varied examples to support your arguments. This will not only enhance the clarity of your ideas but also make your essay more persuasive.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction effectively sets up the essay and clearly states your opinion. This provides a solid foundation for the discussion that follows.
introduction conclusion present
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reiterates your stance on the topic. This provides a strong ending to your essay and reinforces your argument.
logical structure
The essay is logically structured with clear and distinct paragraphs. Each paragraph addresses a specific aspect of the topic, contributing to the overall coherence and readability.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • quality of life
  • financial security
  • life satisfaction
  • delegate tasks
  • financial resources
  • opportunities
  • mental and physical health
  • balanced life
  • emotional connections
  • personal growth
  • security and comfort
  • personal development
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