Many people believe that individuals over 65 should not be allowed to continue working. Others think that people should be allowed to work for as long as they choose. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #individuals #work

Many

individuals

believe that

individuals

over the

age

of 65 should be retired,

while

others believe that the elderly should be allowed to continue working until they are ready. Before concluding that I am in

favor

Change the spelling

favour

show examples

of the former conception,

this

essay

endeavors

Change the spelling

endeavours

show examples

to illuminate both perspectives. On the one hand, it may be advantageous for senior

individuals

to continue working after the

age

of 65.

Initially

, the capacity of senior

employees

to continue their careers would enable them to cover their living expenses.

For instance

, there are a number of elderly

individuals

who serve as the primary breadwinners in their families.

Consequently

, they must generate income from their current employment in order to preserve their stable lifestyle.

Secondly

, the preservation of the profession of senior workers is an excellent method of ensuring that they continue to live with a sense of purpose.

For example

, certain elderly

employees

are enthusiastic about their employment because it allows them to pursue their preferred profession, which results in their enjoyment and satisfaction.

However

, there are numerous compelling reasons for my conviction that

individuals

over the

age

of 65 should dedicate the remainder of their lives to

savoring

Change the spelling

savouring

show examples

invaluable experiences. The initial reason is that they could allocate more time to their family and friends when they resigned from their positions.

For example

, they may engage in family activities,

such

as shopping, cooking, and viewing a movie, which provide them with a sense of relaxation and entertainment. Another explanation is that the geriatric would generate employment opportunities for younger candidates if they relinquished their positions.

This

due to

the fact that older

employees

possess a greater amount of professional experience and skills than their younger counterparts.

Consequently

this

creates some burdens for young

individuals

and places them under strain.

Consequently

, young candidates would have the freedom to be more creative and self-assured in the company without the elderly staff. In summary,

although

it is undisputed that elderly

employees

continue to work after the

age

of 65, I would argue that there are certain advantages for senior

employees

who elect to retire.

Submitted by lethiphuonguyen0098 on Sun Jun 23 2024

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coherence cohesion

To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs. Using a wider variety of conjunctions and transitional phrases can help in this regard.

task achievement

To better support your main points, include more specific examples and explain how they directly relate to your argument. This will enhance the task achievement criterion.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that your introduction and conclusion clearly state your position and summarize the main points discussed in the essay. This will give your essay a more logical structure.

task achievement

Your essay provides a comprehensive response to the task, addressing both views and giving your own opinion.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively framed, presenting the topic and summarizing the essay's main points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

348 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many people believe that individuals over 65 should not be allowed to continue working. Others think that people should be allowed to work for as long as they choose. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Due to high unemployment rate in some countries, pupils should be offered only primary education and not secondary education since there are no jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people prefer to eat at food stands or restaurants. Other people prefer to prepare and eat food at home. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Learning English at school is often seen as more important than learning local languages.If these are not taught, many are at risk of dying out. In your opinion, is it important for everyone to learn English? Should we try to ensure the survival of local languages and if so, how?

Some People Think That Success In Life Comes From Hard Work And Determination, While Others Think That There Are More Important Factors Such As Money And Appearance