The char below shows the number of households in the US by their annual income in 2007, 2011 and 2015

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The bar chart illustrates the annual salary of families in the US in 2007, 2011, and 2015. In general,
while
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another income group tended to fluctuate, the group from 50 to 99 witnessed a steady. Having looked at the given chart for more details, in 2007, 25
million
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households had a budget of less than 25.000, and
this
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number significantly increased to 29.000 after 4 years and slightly dropped in 2015.
Similarly
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, the number of families having a budget between 25 and under 50 went up by nearly 3
million
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in 2011 and decreased in 2015.
By contrast
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, the
quantity
Change the quantifier
number
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of people having over 100 thousand in income went down by approximately 2
million
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in 2011 before rising and peaking at 33
million
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in 2015. Related to fluctuating trends, the salaries of people around 55 to 75 thousand remained steady.
Besides
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, the remaining group has a slight variation but it still levelled off under 15
million
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Submitted by ieltswritingpracticedl on

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coherence cohesion
Provide a clearer and more comprehensive introduction and conclusion to better frame your essay. Concluding sentences can help summarize key points effectively.
task achievement
Work on reducing grammatical errors and improving sentence structure for a clearer and more professional expression of ideas.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each point or trend described is clearly explained and supported with specific data from the chart.
task achievement
You have identified and described the main trends in the data effectively.
coherence cohesion
Your essay contains relevant specific examples, which enhance the overall clarity and comprehension of your response.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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