Some people are of the opinion that children should be rewarded for good behaviour. Others think they should be punished for bad behavior. Discuss both views and give your personal opinion and reasons.

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First of all undeniably that there Some people believe that
children
should be rewarded for good
behaviour
.
However
, others say they must be punished for bad
behaviour
. One of the most challenging issues in the field
overall
, It can be clearly seen that there are two
According to
the notice, a lot of folk are of the opinion that
children
should be punished for bad
behaviour
, there must be a nation that cares for
children
and helps
children
that help
children
do the right thing .
For example
, the
children
do not do bad things
also
next illustrates that
children
know the bad acts and do not do other more time ,
this
essay will discuss both sides will draw my personal conclusion,
On the other hand
, some folk believe that
children
must be rewarded for good
behaviour
also
firstly
the nation like the rewarded
this
a good for son or girl .As
such
that makes the baby take of goal and most counters encourage the baby to act the good
behaviour
furthermore
that becomes success In conclusion, After looking at both points ,I would strongly endorse is most common solution.
However
, reasonably that there are concluded , My opinion must be rewarded for a good role that makes them happy so, do not do the body thing ,I say if act the punished for bad action study them
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task achievement
Your essay needs a clearer thesis statement in the introduction. Make sure to state what the essay will discuss and present your opinion clearly.
task achievement
Your essay would benefit from more specific and relevant examples to support your points. Try to include one or two detailed examples for each viewpoint you discuss.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow of the essay. Currently, the ideas are somewhat disjointed. Use transitional phrases to connect your points better.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that this main idea is supported by relevant details. This will help in building cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Work on sentence structure to avoid run-on sentences and fragments. Breaking down complex ideas into simpler sentences can help with clarity.
task achievement
You have made an effort to discuss both sides of the argument, which is good practice for this type of essay.
coherence cohesion
You have structured your essay with separate paragraphs for different points of view, which helps in organizing your writing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Positive reinforcement
  • Behavioral motivation
  • Praise
  • Extrinsic motivation
  • Internal discipline
  • Consequences
  • Time-outs
  • Removal of privileges
  • Logical consequences
  • Psychological effects
  • Child-parent relationship
  • Negative reinforcement
  • Consistency
  • Fairness
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