Many people choose natural healing methods, such as acupuncture and massage therapy to recover from illness. Others prefer to use pharmaceutical drugs prescribed by their doctor for their alignments. Discuss both views and give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #methods #acupuncture #massage #therapy #illness #drugs #doctor #alignments

It is a common belief that

drugs

are used to treat numerous

diseases

by practitioners.

However

Change the capitalization

show examples

believe that the best solution to maintain good

health

is using natural therapies without any poisons.

This

essay will discuss both views of recovery and treatment

methods

. On the one hand, a lot of people assume that using poisons from doctors is the fastest and most accurate way to recover their mental and physical

health

Therefore

, when people encounter emergency situations, they often prefer to visit the hospital to get a direct cure from doctors.

For example

, those who suffer from broken legs or hypertension, decide to go to the hospital to talk with medical experts and get some medicines, because

this

method is one of the most direct ways to treat them.

Moreover

, the rapid development of medical technology converts the general public’s notion that pharmaceutical

drugs

from practitioners are reliable treatments.

On the other hand

, natural treatment

methods

such

as massage and acupuncture provide people with long-term benefits without any poisons. Those who prefer to use natural treatment

methods

, often are often concerned about harmful ingredients in some

drugs

and being poisoned by

drugs

thus

, they may prevent their

health

from being exposed to any poison.

Moreover

, no serious injuries or

diseases

are often treated by natural healing

methods

For example

, I had bad posture habits when I worked or studied using a laptop or smartphone, causing disk issues and eye

diseases

then

, I decided to go places like massage shops or acupuncture hospitals, as I wanted to develop my posture habit in the long term.

This

decision was an amazing experience to recover my disk issues. In conclusion, there are two ways to recover from their

diseases

However

, from the writer’s perspective, using tools like massage and acupuncture is the best way to keep and treat their

health

issues without harmful substances.

Submitted by dksrlgus1017 on Sun Jun 23 2024

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task achievement

Ensure that all key ideas are clearly supported with specific and relevant examples. For instance, the example about the writer's personal experience with natural treatments could be expanded with more details.

coherence cohesion

Improve the clarity of the essay by avoiding repetitive phrases and ensuring that all points are clearly differentiated. For example, you mentioned 'natural treatment methods' and 'without any poisons' repetitively, which could be streamlined.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph follows a logical structure and transition smoothly from one idea to the next. Use more varied linking words and phrases to enhance coherence, such as 'furthermore,' 'additionally,' or 'on the contrary.'

coherence cohesion

Review and refine the introduction and conclusion to ensure they encapsulate the essay's main points effectively. The conclusion should restate the key arguments succinctly.

task achievement

The essay provides a balanced discussion by considering both views on the topic, which is crucial for task completion.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are clearly present and relevant to the overall argument of the essay.

task achievement

The essay highlights personal experience as an example, which adds credibility and a personal touch to the argument.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

312 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The plans below show a student accommodation buildings 2010 and now.

Maintaining public libraries is a waste of money since computer technology can replace their functions. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Computers and modems have made it possible for office workers to do much of their work from home instead of working in offices every day. But still some people prefer to work in offices. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countriyside is decreasing. Do you think it is a positie or nagative development?

Some people think that University degree is needed for good profession while others believe that experiences plays the key role, so people should go work straight after school.